You. inside my mind.

You're no fairytale.

2010-03-28T07:00:00.001-07:00

There's nothing much to this post except,

FUCK YOU, BITCH.

Oh, stop asking why. You don't happen to get anything either. You're the go do person who ends up with a broken heart. Nobody can fix it? Yes, but thats because you're fugly.

what my heart feeds on

2010-01-29T07:57:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry.

Sometimes words cannot take us through the borders of the heart. We ourselves need the courage to find the right words and make the right move. Do not rely on instincts, it cannot bring us through the works of the heart. Do not rely on people. They will never be there long enough. Do not only rely on yourself, you're never good enough for your own expectations. Learn how to absorb, and then apply to life. Don't expect life to ever be easy. We all know the game master is us and we only have a chance to drop a bomb on this life we hold.

Dear K.

I know you've done a lot for the both of us but that doesn't mean that it's always sufficient to only rely on a person's effort. Both of us know that no matter how much we try, we'll always have our conflicts. Be it me starting it or you starting it. Although somehow it's always me starting it, and that sometimes you know I don't mean it. But my tongue will never spare you. The cutter tongue I have will always stab into you. Being tolerant to it will not bring us happiness. What we can derive from this is a relationship built on fear and regret. And as we've talked about this. Life is too short for regrets. We have to live our days with glory and pride. Not suffering because of a wrong feeling.

I should go.

We all need some alcohol sometimes.

2010-01-16T19:50:00.001-08:00

Alcohol is good for health. It soothes your soul and bends your body back to the way it was. It heals your heart and leaves you with an excuse to be marginally wrong. It pushes your limits and gives you another new pulse within your body so that you'll know something within you is alive again. It does wonders when you know that your heart is aching and longing.

This saturday it's doing the good life with booze and good friends and thankfully this time it wasn't in a room. We all know the room breeds sinful happenings. When there's a bed, there comes many possibilities.

Part of the night have been completely erased. I'm not so sure myself if that is a good thing because I think I might have done some stuffs to embarress myself or to hurt people during that period but if I really did embaress myself. I'm thankful to know that for this week or so, no one is going to remind me of them. Else I'll need to stuff my head into my asshole and pretend to not hear the muffled laughters.

What I'll need to do after this week of alcohol abuse and is to bun up my hair and get back to my work. Shape up my ass and be a good daughter. Not like I am not already but not so much misbehaving when I'm out.

And just to my three babies out there, even though I know you prolly don't even know about the existence about this blog but I'm thankful that you three took care of me so well the whole time I was drunk. If you didn't I would be housed in a guy's room by now, or maybe overseas if they decided to sell me away. I hope you three know I do love you. But please, do not let me drink so much next time. I'll bring a rope and maybe some tape so that you guys can tape up my mouth and tie me to the nearest pole. No more kissing/touching.

I'm gonna live life as it is.

You roll with the times.

2010-01-03T08:07:00.000-08:00

Hello Guys! Happy New Year. I know this isn't exactly the real date for New Year but let's make do with it since I really cannot be arsed to blog this few days.

Tomorrow I might be starting work at the kindergarden my auntie works in. I hope all goes well and I won't have to murder any spoilt bratzxz when they try to cry their way out stuffs. I don't really like kids who cries too much for their own good. Then again, I used to be one of those kids.

Anyway, I also think I've rubbed off some of Ching's sensitivity to little girls. During the Laos trip, there was this little fuckgirl that kept annoying me and I think she saw me mouthing bitch whenever she was in the way. Haha. That little fucker deserves this name because she was hovering around me for the 20 minutes that I was using FB and hotmail. Because she has no manners and tries to cut in whenever I am taking a picture. Because she complains too much for her own good. Because she...just is a cheebye.

I don't know how I'm going to handle all the kids tomorrow. I don't like to play mother to so many kids. I'll slap any of them if they try to climb over my head. To add it on, I have to wear jeans and a shirt tomorrow. Not that I have anything against all these outfits but.....Singapore is really too humid for such a wear! Being a shu nu is really not easy...

Anyway, my neurotism has also kicked in and I'm sure many of my peers are feeling the effect of it. Be forewarned, anybody who repeats their statement twice when I did not ask for it will get a very kaobeizxz reply from me. Anybody who ignores me will be heavily slapped with my sarcasm. Anybody who tries to even raise their voice at me will one get one reply from me. And that is to FUCK OFF. I really pity all my wonderful friends for being friends with such a fucker like me. Haha yea right as if I do care.

This New Year, there's not going to be any resolutions because as I've said before, resolutions are resoluted to the strong and there's nothing strong in me. Besides, most of the resolutions I make are either useless, senseless or both. So I see no point in continuing such stupid resolutions. The only thing I want to promise myself is to....stop breaking so many hearts by being nicer to people.

Having fun in moderation

2009-12-16T10:33:00.000-08:00

Hello guys! I know it's hell long since I last blogged but yes, I'm back now! I've decided not to let anybody know that I've reopened the blog because I might want to type some very raw feelings of mine. So until any kpo's come to look see around this place and start to increase the number of visitors, I think it's reasonable to say that this blog will be as good as dead.

As you guys know, 2012 is around the corner and I'm sure many are anticipating for 12-21-2012 because that's the said date of us dying. If nothing goes wrong with the psychic's calculation, yes, we will all be dead. Have you, then, ever thought of doing some stuffs before you actually die? I did. Most of them are not very important but worth taking note of.

Blacks for those I wanna do. Red for those I've done before.

1) lose my virginity. (please don't ask me why this is on the top of my list)
2) experience bungee-jumping.
3) get really drunk and forget all about it the next day
4) earn my first $10 000
5) get my first tattoo
6) travel to other countries without any parents supervision AT ALL
7) fly a damned plane (not the remote control one hor, don't play play)
8) use a gun on an actual living thing
9) get my second tattoo (haha, i know this is so dumb)
10) find a guy I really like (you know how difficult it is for me ): )
11) kiss a girl bestfriend
12) look at a real man naked. Porn doesn't count.
13) Have a dog
14) Have a chinchilla
15) Meet a rich guy (sorry, all girls dream of that)
16) get a brazillian waxing
17) getting caught by the police when I'm doing something naughty
18) getting into a non-fatal car accident
19) getting a dress which costs 1k
20) be a bartender

And this stops at 20 because I'm too tired to think of any. To add on, most of the things I want to get done is not done only because I myself don't want to, not because I am not able to. I think I really have to generate all this energy into doing something productive if I want miracles to happen in my life instead of sitting on this chair and pretend to dream big. You know life always have unexpected stuffs coming up? I hope something like that will happen to me too. I am really getting bored.

aku perumpuan, back from malacca, malaysia

2009-06-22T03:23:00.000-07:00

Diyana is jealous! For I did not blog about the sleepover a week before. Okay beetch, I'm going to do it now so quit whining!

I was over at Dee's house for a sleepover on tuesday and I think her family is one of the best host ever! You get to enjoy "sedap" food prepared by her parents and her siblings gave a whole new meaning to adorable. They will hold your hands, touch your hair and just keep giggling to themselves. I think I might actually consider moving to their house for good.

Whats better than a good host? A good friend of course! Seeing her in school everyday is nothing unusual since we've stuck by each other for 5 years straight. But to be by her side at night when her gross habits come, totally new experience! That night was like Singapore version of gossip girls, we just kept talking non-stop. It's only I made her shut up around 3 then did we manage to eventually setlle for some rest. But before that it was all about laughing, crying, punching, teasing and then getting closer to each other cause we were so damned scared of "pontianak."

Talking to Diyana made me realise lots of things, in fact, lots of sad stuff thats happening in the world, how much injustice and judement a person has to face in this very pragmatic world we are living in right now. Even if it's things I've often thought about, being able to talk it out was like serving it on a platter. So raw and but there's nothing much you can do about it. Shit stuff in life happens and I guess even if not all of us accepts it, we just live with it.

Thursday, she came over to my house. It's like some mini exchange programme in Jurong/Bukit Batok! We caught "drag me to hell" with a few other classmates before officially bunking in at my house.
The show was fucking awesome, even if it's for 3quarts of the movie. I thought the director was fucking brilliant to make use of so many special effects but what really cracked me up was Ganush, the witch in the movie. She had eyes of different colour and dirty nails to match her "hadn't-wash-in-a-few-years look." People who hadn't catch it should cause it's so fucking gross, lots of laughter in between and definitely entertaining for that 2 hours. I love it!

Anyway, enough raving about the awesomeness. Diyana coming to my house was not as lovely cause my parents pays more than they play. We just sat in bed after being completely washed out from swimming and talk about liberal issues like sex and how people perform them. After all the catfights in bed, the only decent answer we managed to come out with is that people uses manuals to aid in being sexually attractive, and therefore people with no prior sexual experience, if they are able to religiously follow the manual, the can actually score an A in bed.

As crappy as that could be, the next morning was worse since we woke up when class was starting. Diyana sleeps like a dead log and nothing can interupt her unless you really slap her hard. Attempted to roll her off the bed but she managed to stay on the edge, hit her stomach but yet, no reaction at all. Not even an "OW". If I hadn't heard her breathing I might think she really got squashed by my 200 pounds of beauty during the middle of the night and died. So scary but that's just Dee for you. We impressively reached school at 9 and the rest of the day..it's history.

Goodgrief! Screw this wordy post, I'll post up pictures in abit. Till then, I need to prepare my speech for CIP hours and eat dinner. There's only a few days before holidays end and I want to savour every last bit of it!

Coffee't outta my system!

2009-06-17T08:10:00.000-07:00

I think I really have to type something else if I don't many people will just think I've commited suicide in the cyberspace.

I have shit loads of pictures to post up but I'm going to have to wait a few more days cause I can't find the damned card reader ever since I used it last friday!

Today I realised, Esther and me have the sofest resolves. We planned to meet by 8 but ended up changing the time to 9, only to have me being late! As I approached the long-legged beauty, she threw me this murderous look. Talk about "if looks could kill!"

We sat at starbucks for a whole 7 hours and I thought my butt was going to grow mould from all that sitting! My system reeks of coffee right now and I can already feel myself getting fat from all the whip cream. I think I might need to buy puking bags whenever I go to Starbucks cause honestly, my body can't take all that milk. Argh....

So, her brother got me sent home and it's so freaking funny when I cursed him and he'll accidently hit the curb. Halfway thru, he started making hand signs and made me repeat "I love myself", "I am motivated", he's sucha joker that when I opened my mouth I could practically swallow the car. But that didn't happen of course else wouldn't be here right now.

My fat ass brother finally decided to lesson his carbon prints cause he's learning, or rather, relearning how to take a bus. I think he might be lost since he called to say he's going to come home from Westmall around 10.15 and it's already 11.20. I live near IMM, approximately 5 stops away and unless he thinks of walking, how would it take so long?

I don't know what else to say...so. BYE!

give it to me hard

2009-06-12T07:51:00.000-07:00

Hello.

This past week was deadly, even more cruel when the school decided to cut off the electricity supply for the lift so that us students had to use the stairs. It's so unfair when we were the ones who donated so much money for it! But then again, life is NEVER fair.

In life you realise, we aren't always dealt the right cards, so its up to you to play your game.

Recently, we just underwent the resilience workshop at school and it's amazing how people can show their most beautiful sides at a time when they are at the peak of vulnerabilty. 35 making a class, 20 making a river. At the last part of the talk when we were all supposed to see our life on roleplay, it seems easy to watch it being played as our tears became part of the movie. It's this sort of things in life that really puts you at the periphery of life.

I don't see how everybody benefitted from it because I still believe true motivation comes from within. Motivation does not come with a price tag, it comes with longing and all other true spirits. I know I still sound like a cynic albeit after going thru the Adam Khoo workshop but I still have my reservations amd seriously speaking, the final equation still boils down to motivational talks being another door to easy money!

I think I might post the picture up tomorrow since....i'm such an ass when it comes to friday nights. I want to lie on my bed like a ragdoll with no stuffing and wait for my mummy to dry my hair. So pampered I know but don't be jealous, haha!

It satifies me.

2009-06-06T06:43:00.000-07:00

All pictures for the day at ECP. I'm gonna upload another post tmr on JBP if I have the time, I'll add up the pictures too. I have lots of pictures recently. Really satisfied with the outcome of this past one week and honestly sometimes I think God have been too nice to me. Yes, I have my shortcomings and flaws, but above all, I still feel like I don't lack anything. Maybe just a bit of part thereof but life, it's still good! :D

Beatrice the beggar "got 5cent?"

My fav! Felix jumping and I caught it! :D

Anyways, I finally upload the bimbo picture of my bro's gf and I can't wait to upload it! Recently she and my brother have been going thru a rocky relationship. Oh man, I hope they break up soon!

Left it. at home

2009-06-03T08:39:00.000-07:00

I can't for holidays, the real one, to come! I'm so bored and swiped out in school, I just cannot seem to concentrate. Today after school I met Laura and we made a stupid choice of eating in a restaurant. And, I've found out how to control spending. Leave your card at home, this way, you'll have nothing to spend.

Anyways.

Congrats to

Miss Neatest: Beatrice
Miss Self-discipline: HuiYun
Miss Courteous: Afifah
Mr Enterprise: Nicholas
Miss Reflective: Maggie
Miss Creative: Brintha
Miss Caring: Eunice
Mr Teamwork: Ariffin

Goodwork guys! (:

And Maggie, I don't know if you are going to read this but you can flame me all you like in your blog and don't bother to do me a service of changing my name because I don't need that at all. And if you are talking about JingYi, I can't care less now because we've also never talked about our problems face to face before. Obviously we also can't do it since she just started to ignore me one day. I can't say that I've been the most caring student but since teacher awarded me with it, I'll just accept it. And, if you like to keep harping on it, how much so are you reflective?

To date, I can't say I've been very mean to you altho yes, I've bitched about you before but it's fair and square since you have done so too. Even if you've clean forgetten, I can still remember when I was nice to you. I don't expect you to, in any way, big or small, repay this gratitude (who am I kidding, you'll just think I'm fake!), not even to remember, but I still hope that before you keep flaming me you'll have to remind yourself. It takes both hands to clap.

(ps, if anyone finds their name missing for the certs thing, sorry and tell me! thx)

Freeway

2009-06-02T07:17:00.000-07:00

Holidays don't taste like holidays. Tastes like a mixture of sweat and hardwork but no reaping. Not yet.

I guess everybody's still grumbling at how unfair life is and whatt is dishes out cannot be concluded up in just a small paragraph. Today I was thinking about my future, thinking about how to get into my fav. course, thinking about big brains big bucks when I started to break down cause I was freaking WORRIED. First time in my life I am WORRIED, cause I can't score at tests. I'm not stupid. I'm just not intelligent or hardworking enough. In order to support the last statement, the evidence is that I'm still blogging instead of doing proper work.

Anyways, realised my blog is super wordy. I know you guys hate that.

1)I'll be posting photos up in abit. (It's about time!)
2) I'll try to point blog more next time.
3) I freaking miss ice cream, laura, janice and black dress.
4) My mum is so irritating, she hogged the computer for too long and forgot to wash the clothes.
5) I'm annoyed by MSN'S "virus", what's with people whose offline nudging you and offering sex sites?!
6) RX, if you see thise and still complain about my blog. You are freaking dumb.

oRder and SeLL

2009-05-31T06:41:00.000-07:00

It's nearing 10 now and I should be panicking for being so calm with Chinese O's. What an irony..
After the hot housing, I feel like I'm finally getting the hang of writing chinese compos, constructing correct sentences and to prove it, I went to C.town yesterday! Which brings me something to talk about, something inhumane.

I've always regarded C.town people as very uncouth, uncivilised and basically a group of ah peks still doing the whistling to attract chio bus. But yesterday proved me wrong because people from there are also very unfeeling and I don't think they really register love as a kind of feeling but as a kind of obligation. Was walking when I saw this young girl carrying an even younger girl, assumed to be her sister. The next shocking thing that happened, maybe just a split second, was how she nearly dropped her sister. That's not the main point, the thing was, her father came around to "snatch" the younger one away and start to show kungu kicking movements at the girl. Then came the scoldings and more kicking. With the older sister walking away to some pillars, prolly to curse and cry all at one go.

Parents like these should certainly be receiving more education. I don't get it. Why do parents always favour the younger one more? From my point of view, and also of the youngest in my family, of course I can't deny how sometimes it's helpful to always be at an advantage but sometimes I get so angry with my parents for how they always want to shield me and make sure my brother gets the blame, or the shorter end of the rod! Even using the computer when my brother is using it can be such an easy task, just whine/cry/scream while rolling on the floor. It's easy! Too easy, that I can't fight my own battles.

Last Friday, I accompanied Laura to ECP to play aunt agony, and also hide and seek with the roaches. Laura's oblivion to it was eerie and I had to shift spots many times just so the roaches won't crawl to me. In the end, I forsake my dinner when my subway meal dropped to the floor and I had to move off without it.

That night, Laura was telling me about she on the sea with B as the sea. While she tries to float and there's many obstacles. It took me a long time but I finally generated something sensible. That is, the heart and brain are different organs and just trying to think how to satisfy both using a one method, you're being stupid. Is that not right? While the brain is responsible for sending signals, your heart is on the receiving end. Don't complicate them both but never fail to capture the beauty of two.

Can somebody tell me how to put on tagboard? -.-
And any suggestions for a new hp? :DD

got happy face? (:(:(:(:(:(:(:

2009-05-17T07:38:00.001-07:00

I am Jia.

I like X-man, Superman, Blackman, Spiderman.

Not because they are man, but because, they are mutants coming to save the virtual world.

Before I got online to blog, I kept preparing what I wanted to blog and when I finally got down to it, I forgot what I wanted to say and the x-man, spiderman thing just kept coming to my mind. So random.

Anyway, tomorrow we're going to get back all our exam scripts so for all those who have the confidence that they didn't do so well(like me), good luck. For all that did really really good, keep it up. And for those that has done so well and left us all at the back and kept bugging us with your negativity, go to hell.

Just a question, do woman really need guys or have they been left to think that way? Because sometimes I see woman better off without the opposite sex.

I'm indefinite.

2009-05-16T09:19:00.000-07:00

Too late that I learned that that bridge was made of thorns, then it might not be strong enough to hold us all. When it comes to memories, the good and the bad never balance. I am not sure how i came to measure your life by the moments when it's fallen apart-surgeries, breaks, emergencies-instead of the moments in between. Maybe it makes me a pessimist, maybe it makes me a realist. Or maybe it just makes me a mother. But there's only one fact that matters: I don't want you to suffer another break. Especially one between you and me, because that might never set properly.

-Handle with Care

This made me cry.
---
Now no exams. Now no stress. Now no burn midnight oil. I belly belly happy.
Four sentences to sum up how I feel about exams.
---

Thursday was spent at GV JP watching Star trek and eating fish soup rice. It's been honestly a long time since I've watched a movie and even though it got kinda messy with all the two-dimensions thing in Star Trek, I thoroughly enjoyed myself with Esther. They could tell you you can't miss someone whom you see everyday but I did. It's been weeks since I spent some quality time with her and I miss her awkward smile or the way she does her so called "reverse psychology" but it's all crap la, her so called "reverse psychology" has no effect at all. I spent the night painting on eggs little cartoons and that took two hours. I'll post it up when i get the pictures.
---

Friday was waking up at 10 and then realising I've arranged to meet Bobs at 10. OMG! I went rushing around the house getting ready and reached JE nearing 11. I know, sucks to have me as a friend. But despite the morning hiccup, it was a pretty good cyling trip. Going out with them is a really raw experience and I didn't even know that people actually makes stops when they cycle! All along I just cycle non-stop and consume the scenery as I pass but BOBs, they just have to get down to explore. So poor me had to get up and down the bike everytime they stop and it's not funny cause most of the time my legs are barely touching the ground.
We didn't camwhore with all the splashes and I was very tired that day, I have only 3 pics but i'll put it up, especially the one with HuiYun flying. I.Love.It.
My mummy came to meet us at night for dinner and we chatted away in until we found out that it's really late and HuiYun had to go home. But I really like cycling and even though urinating was abit problematic that night, I still want to go back again! So can anyone please bring me?
---

Saturday, which is today. I went to watch Angels and Demons and I'll ace it. From the movie, I've learnt that science and religion cannot co-exist and that whatever you think is right may deviate from the truth and actually set itself wrong. I love it! I was in the midst thinking about taking up Roman history when I realised this was just a movie and that it won't ever happen in real life. Sucked back to reality, and hitting it hard.
I want to get this book and finish it. I heard the ending was not featured in the movie and I badly want to know! Movies that involves lots of brainwork and clues makes me so excited! Like how in the movie they could find the killer with the arrows from the angels, at the setting of Castle of Angels. And how by drawing lines across the map leads you to the four elements. It's so good you have to catch it yourself! And I won't continue because I guess most of you won't like me to spoil the ending so I'll just shut up.
---

Theres such a thing called "Indifference" and it's called indifference for a reason.

Indifference:
to not be disturbed at will, and to keep the emotions flowing at a less than optimum level.

Indifference is to pretend, is a less pretentious way. Indifference is to forgive and accept, past the melodrama marker. Indifference is to be defined as when you're sick and tired of the same old thing happening, and then to mature instead of waiting at the same spot to crash and burn. I like indifference. I like it like that.

I've known that all my life and I haven't accepted it. Till I sat and listened to myself repeating that word and realised. To be indifferent is actually, to be different. The point being, this time, you're going to be different from the world.

we can count off our fingers

2009-04-30T07:43:00.000-07:00

It's Thursday, 3 days away from our first paper and I'm still idling away with Oreas dipped in milk and marshmallows. I'm so enjoying life, after the subway lunch with BOBS and chinese cuisine with my family. Oh, live life and love it!

Today I did a mental check, to see what matters to me most in my life and realised after being with the brains for quite some time, I've gotten used to the idea of having a new perspective in life.

I used to confine myself in a house with frosted windows, reproach and castigate. Wind up the life-clock, and you'll find I deliberate more on my actions and forbid my heart from doing all the talking. My mind now works, my past no longer pays for my present, it's not as surreal. The thing about it, is not how you try to be nonchalant and put on a facade. It's more of getting down to business and talk to the problem itself. You know it, you face it, you cure it. In all brutal honesty, there's no two-way route to getting about it.

One day in the future, you'll look back and think how the decision made was arbitrary. How charming to be ignorant.

SA1, go as quick as you came.

a maturing mom(s)

2009-04-12T02:32:00.000-07:00

Todays is sunday and also the third day I've been staying at home. Not mugging, but sleeping my headache and fever away.

On thursday, which is also just a day before Good Friday, my crazy aunts and mom decided to go out for a late night getaway. So in the end, we walked all the way down to Clemenceau and had deserts till the shops closed. The pastries they sold there was just so damned good. Just having a slice wasn't enough, we ended up buying 7 of it. But the pastry did justice to the price, a slice for 8bucks. Good things don't come cheap.
We headed down to Highlanders for a booze later in the night and had a go at Tequila and Martini. By the time it was 2, the aunties all got tired and we headed home. I don't know where did they find their energy for such activites but really, have you even seen a mum who just gave birth play so much? That ladies night was really awesome and everybody was just being crazy. I'm still waiting to age a little so I can go out for pubs with them next time.

Peace out

for you, for coming so close to me.

2009-04-05T06:47:00.001-07:00

The rain was a bitch today and I stayed home just so I wouldn't stray when I'm out on the pavements. After so much hesitation, I decided to submit to my fate of having to packed my bursting closet. So at about 2.30, I started roleplaying maid to my closet, at 5, a teacher to my homework, at 6, a housewife cooking. At 7, I became normal and did all the homework my teachers assigned. Now at 10, I'm waiting for S factor to start. Some catfights before sports day starts.

Tomorrow is sports day, and I'm supposed to wear the carlsberg class tee to the stadium. Any of you good people that sees me, don't try to rip any beer off me. I have none.

So life, you're a total stranger during the holidays, which to be truthful, was just spent daily wasting it on clubs and nice books. A call I shouldn't have picked up, and words I shouldn't have believed, got me down to MaxPavillion, Chinatown nearing 12 and I wasted 50bucks getting there, getting in, and getting home. Life sux like that. I had the worst of all time there and I was still fuming when I woke up the next day.

Okay, S factor is here. Goodbye.

Don't Complane

2009-04-03T09:39:00.000-07:00

I know if I keep my blog pictures free it's gon be boring. So while this isn't too overdued yet. Savour it slowly.

We love doodlions.

LauraA

He's the shortest in the group but still way taller than me. I'm on heels mind you.

LauraB hugging LauraA. No doubt, names given by me again.

On heels, On kerb. Still way shorter.

JANICE!~ One of my best bimbo, LOVES!

My boobs look ultra fake from this angle. Use fork to deflate it. HAHA.

Pretty Girls.

Ugly Guys.

Going out with them is always so entertaining cause they are such teasers. That night was an impromtu one yet so fulfiling cause I got to meet my janjan and LauraA. It's been months since I heard their voice so meeting up with them can always be such a great deal. That night, we got lost around the bugis area and I ended up back at home with blisters. The bimbo part of me wanted to wear heels and thats what I got for punishment. It's been 4 years since we knew each other and how time flies. From the geeks, we have changed. No wait, maybe only me and LauraA cause JanJan is still the geek. Haha! We ate the sub-standard food from Haji lane and Jan had to speed home early cause she had camp. That poor thing. Already tired out from all the band practice and she can't even get some good time off to rest.

My brain is facing a mild techinical difficulty. It's 1am and I've just completed 2 posts. So damned rare so savour my posts when they are delivered. Now, I'm off to content myself with brushing my pearlie whites and snuggle into the bed with my toy dog whom I've yet to name. Any suggestions just gimme a buzz. I like names related to food but if you find anything interesting for eg: big mushroom, golden king kong, flying flea. Yes, just leave a comment.

Jia is going off now, Nights!

You're free to go.

2009-04-03T09:14:00.000-07:00

Gon do a quickie now that I can't sleep due to the burning sensation in my stomach. I hate it when menstruation knocks on my doors because when people have symptoms like food cravings and tendency to sleep alot, mine is having to shit alot. I wouldn't mind it if the shit is solid but unfortunately for me and my mum, it's really watery and stinks more than the usual.

It's just the start of April but I've already broken all the rules and guidelines I've set for myself. Looking back, I started out with resolutions like "Growing stronger in God", I've quitted church. "Don't squeeze pimples", I've squeezed those pus-filled thing and got rid of them from my face. "Grow taller and live healthy", I frequent Macdonald's and KFC when I hang out with BOB's (they have damn good stamina, they can go for up to 4 times per week) and to top it off, I haven't grown a damned mm. Blame it on bad discipline but I suppose resolutions are there just to make you feel like you're gonna achieve something but those that lived through half of their life, they'll know resolutions is just a facade to what a mess your life has been.

I've got something to rant about but I have no idea how to say it without hurting people too much. They say friends are indispensable in your life but what if you meet a friend who does nothing but to leave you behind whenever they progress? Do you still keep them with you, or just like the toxics, you flush them our from your system?

Right now, my feelings are all jumbled out, like it just tumbled into the washing machine. Guess I'll let it have a good wash before I fish them out and start organizing them.

Jia's Priority in Life:
1) O' levels
2) Family
3) Friends
4) Fun
5) Sleep
6) Eat
7) Shit

If you like, you may ignore the last 3. It's just totally crap but coming to think of it, I'm really made up of the last few.

The killer rockzilla, and his class of rockers.

2009-04-01T05:47:00.001-07:00

Happy April Fool's Day! I know plenty of you are thinking of ways how to get your teacher but in my case, the rockzilla of the day really had us hoodwinked. Right after the "touch my body" korean version, it's test for the class and Mr Latiff seemed to be raging. He started ranting and talking about how our grades were disgusting and claimed we were all throwing some rubbish work to him. In order to really show his anger, he said it's a piece of rubbish for rubbish, something like an eye for an eye and appointed me to distribute the rubbish. I know, why me? The quiestest student in class and targetted by him. He went "Eunice, come!" Left with no choice and nothing to arm myself, I even dared a cheeky smile and said "april fools joke right?" Instead, he answered me like I was too insensitive and wasn't taking the whole situation seriously. I went and I was really trembling cause I don't like it when people, especially teachers get mad and I was the one who was getting the rubbish from him.

His bag was filled with envelopes and I really thought we were supposed to write him a letter to show our resolutions and how sorry we were for giving him shit all this while. And 5 secs after I gave the envelopes out....

IT WAS ACTUALLY JUST A BLOODY MARS BARS AND A LOLLIPOP!

It wouldn't do justice to him if I started swearing how good he was but really, it's the best prank of the year! He really scared all of us and made us get damned fidgety when he wrote :
1)The test won't last for jsut 30minutes
2)There will be one hard and one soft

Upon seeing that, who wouldn't treat it as some kind of punishment?!

So yea, MR LATIFF IS THE BEST ENGLISH TEACHER(((:

4e5 hearts him~ <333

Guys should not take advantage of Girls.

2009-03-28T10:23:00.001-07:00

Everybody that night was going insane, maybe for the first time in their life. The sweat of girls, dripping over the contours of their body. Those guys, preyed on the girls like werewolf beholding a final full moon. The sweat of both genders mixed, producing yet another best night. If 3 were to go, a menage a trois would begin. But that wasn't what I aimed for that night. He pulled me closer towards him but as much as I felt excited, I didn't like where it was going.

That night at Zouk, it was one of the happiest night I had clubbing. People staging their show there was crazy and the crowd, you wouldn't exactly live through it. Those trannys dancing, I really admired their courage and how they moved. The music wasn't fabulous but it still deserved an applause for leading my memories to where it belonged. I peeled myself away from all my clubber friends and joined my friend's boyfriend in the dance. I couldn't stop laughing all the way since they were too damned tall. Even with raised hands, I could barely hit their head. Clubbing with those new friends was more like being kampung kids in a explicitly dangerous place. When people were busy grinding, placing their hands on wherever they could find a bare spot too. There I was, a spot in the dark competing to see who could go lower for Flo Rida's "low" song, playing games in that room. When I got on stage to dance, I started to talk more gibber than I moved and eventually left the dance room for a drink. 1hour later when the dance room cleared, I finally broke free from the clubbing fever and headed for some 5.30 breakfast suggested by LauraB. I like life this way.

I do like clubbing, innocent clubbing especially. Not when the voyeur puts his hands around my waists and starts acting coy. When I'm put in this position, it's akin to letting me walk too far on my own and when I sense disturbance, I recoil. But then again, you don't fuck yourself up just because ugly things happened. You let it happen, and you may let it replay itself. Or then again, you can serve your revenge while he has your back to you.

Wearing fatigue.

2009-03-28T08:58:00.000-07:00

Remember when I said I was going to post up the pictures of my brother's bimbo girlfriend? (That was some time back) I decided not to be such a bitch, to live and let live and to not flame her so much on this blog she doesn't even know the existence of. I'm about to join the angels in singing, fix a halo on my head. But....I lied, I just realised I've yet to upload her gross pictures. I cannot, cannot post up any of her screwed face. I am such a toad.

I like going out with my cousins cause they always have such good bargains for buffet. Say hi to Jia the glutton. That day we ate 5 rounds in total and ended up getting rushed to my cousins house for a late night cake making. Not those you'll find in the toilet, instead we made a decent cheese cake. Perfecto.

My younger cousin, the freak you'll see later. His tongue is almost possessed, it can twist, turn, twirl any way you like it. It's like his tongue has a life of its own inside the mouth, so we decided to name the tongue Twitch. I've never seen such an active tongue (not including those guys i've made out with) and it's so fascinating to watch it keep moving. Welcome Twitch the tongue. Oh, we're so cute!

Damn long Twitch. Get ready for its stunts.

But first, let me introduce the dirty mouth that's gon make you go "ohhh" over it

1st stunt) the coughing style. (only person that can't do it is maggie nah kanyanat)

2nd stunt) Twister (they say it's good for kissing)

3rd stunt) The invisible glue. (Bet you can't do this, it's like sticking the tip of the tongue to the middle)

4th stunt) Flower Crap (you can't do it so stop trying)

It's scary how his tongue works. They sort of have a physical ability to turn into shapes. And look at his spongebob tooth, so adorable, how not to fall in love with him? <333 href="http://s210.photobucket.com/albums/bb287/sillypeppers/?action=view&current=placestobe010-1.jpg" target="_blank">

He is about the cutest but not money thing behind him. It's obviously me but I distorted the face cause I didn't know what I was doing. Have fun looking at my armpits.

Cheesecakes=

Fat Nose.

And when ladies can't get to sleep, they have fun doing facials. In my case, we used up the expansion facial which is just some weird cloth that expands when it touches water.

Nanights.

Do people live for themself or for the sake of others?

2009-02-25T05:23:00.000-08:00

The clubber fever, which, acutally sucked. It was a mockery dancing with them because they kept introducing me to malay guys. I'm do not have a problem grooving with malay guys(contradictory to what diy believes) but for that night I could really do with a guy that could speak chinese/hokkien. Although prolly most of the time they will realise I'm smiling, I can't speak chinese or pronounce hokkien words correctly for nuts! It's bad to club without your homie (YinHui<3333). You'll just end up dancing with the floor or start playing with your 10 fingers. So when the night was still young, I dialled for my brother for a quick way home, and rushed back home with RnB blasting in a speeding car. I couldn't even hear myself scream when he swerved from one car to another.

I'll try to put up my brother's girlfriend picture soon. Everybody behold, she's one beauty for the feast of your eyes but when you search for her brain, you'll find nothing there. She's pretty brainless, if you've gotta know.

CA1 is just over and everybody is starting to party. What happened to O levels?! So many stuffs comin' up. And I just can't believe that I'll be reaching 16 soon!(in 7 months time) Especially when I still like to cry and whine so much. Can somebody wake me up please?

We'll do the clubber fever again, and this time you'll see the sweat rollin'.

life is cynical :-l

2009-02-15T00:21:00.000-08:00

You know, I was looking through my old stuffs just a minute ago and found a letter I wrote to this guy but just didn't have the courage to get it sent out. It was such a bad timing to find the letter because when I opened it, it was sending signals of regrets and it's just 1day after valentines. I shouldn't be subjected to such a treatment, but I guess it's a gentle reminder of what I can do with some love in my life. I couldn't believe that 2 years ago, when I was still on the verge of being a delinquent, I could actually write such a mushy letter and I was practically obsessed with this guy. I wrote down every single little thing of him that made me smile to myself like some little girl in love.

When I think of how dumb I was 2 years back, I really wish that I could buy an air ticket back to the past and not break the heart I was holding in my bare hands. Zooming in today, he's happy and I am too. But what if he was with me today, will I be happier? Life is such a cynic.

Next year valentine's, I'm going to try and find a guy worthy of my love. But if I can't, I'll just buy marshmallows and stuff myself dead.

xoxo, goh jia yi

A little of this, a little of that

2009-02-01T06:29:00.001-08:00

A month has passed and I still feel pretty much like how I did when I first entered 2009. A little lost and a little scared. Maybe in time to come I'll be a little bruised but if that really happens, I won't be here. I'll be hiding in a corner waiting for the world to end. If anyone finds me cooped up on my little bed, please give me a little push. Because I think I just lack a little faith.

I'll end it here because I still have to go read up on how plants have sex, reproduce and have kids which in turn have more sex and reproduces more kids. For now, let's just say, the plants leads a more interesting life than I do.

I'm tired, but for you, I'll find the will to live.

aren't we all over it?

2009-01-17T22:16:00.001-08:00

These long overdued pictures as I promised. You see them and the first thought that whizzes to your mind is how old they are. They kept me happy all night with the donuts I bought and a heart to heart chat about sex. That links to the opossite gender.

Guys, I thought, I'm best without them for now. To me, guys are all about getting turned on, a good humping, flattery, money and it just stops at that. But guys like those, I can do better without them in my life. If I want, I'll turn myself on, flatter myself and earn my own money. Out of the 4, there's only the good humping I can't fulfil but that's okay. I'm gon save the best of me for the one I love. So that's me, my description of guys and my current impression of love. They don't last, really. The only good thing on Earth that ever lasts for me, is the reward from all the hard work, and the warmth from kins. Sounds so cliche and non-slutty for once. But then again, that's me. For you to know what's the perfect facets to a jewel, you've gotta find out. In Moulin Rouge, it says "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love, and be loved in return." But in a world of pragmatism now, how do we love and let love get to us? Often, problems only suffice when there is love. So love? What's all the good we can get from it? Well, I suppose that's why Moulin Rouge says we gotta learn. We'll leave it there for now and because thinking about such things often gives us a larger graveyard for braincells, we'll stop this talk pronto and think about the new year goodies coming tomorrow.

You'll enjoy the pictionary now and make me quit typing shitloads.

After knowing this witch here for 3 good long years, the only talent I think she has is in computer games and falling asleep faster than me.
The version of 2 sleeping beauties even when its past 12.
Current fav pose. JEEL, get the drift?

Smack that, get on the floor. Do I sound like I'm describing my gurlies here?

She's getting onto me. So hot, so high.
New year no money? Rob Jenise.

We'll do the booty pop. Touch that ass!
We want nobody nobody but you.....clapclap
Kungfu much?

Favourite girls
Pillow fight/ if you want just hit Liying
girls .
Pile on!
Escape for the night. HQ Jensie

There's more pictures coming up. No promises tho because I think I'm too tired recently. I love all you babies out there. For the gurlies, I hope you don't gain weight from all the good food during new year. For the boys, I hope you'll all be able to style your hair without much effort tomorrow. For the both genders, I hope you have fun getting red packets and sink in the cold hard cash.

Happy Chinese New Year. Goodnight!

so tired currently

2009-01-17T22:08:00.000-08:00

I've been getting lesser and lesser sleep everyday and as a result, my eye rings are showing. Rings, in the form of diamonds are a girls best friend. When they become a result of over-tiredness and fatigue, they are nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, that are a girls best friend. Speaking of which, I just lost a best friend. Twice in a year, both without quarelling. I'm beginning to suspect it's a form of spiritual attack.

I skipped church this week, but guess I'm gon go next.

Life's still manageable and new year is coming. I hope everybody has their pockets stuffed with money. Goodbye.

ps. check your facts next time, tyvm.

not weaving an old maids tale

2009-01-10T08:15:00.000-08:00

I've been talking, not really, more of complaining. Been thinking it over and over again, flipping through the mental pages till the edges starts to curl, till I could possibly read out my thoughts, as if it came right off from the back of my hand. So many things have been happening recently, I feel like lying on the bed and asking God "where are You?"

Yesterday, I asked C why have we been so damn far apart lately. I've been so pertubed by her actions and answers, trying to rack my brains for a fragment of truth, using all possible counter arguements.

I remembered when last year me and my breastfriend fell out. It just happened, without so much as a reasonable explanation. At that point of time, I was wretched. For the whole time, I tried to appear nonchalant although I dedicated much of my blog posts to her. I tried to rectify the problem but I just couldn't get to the root of it. I felt terrible and I really just wanted to sleep in my bed the whole day, cry to my four walls and prolly soak my pillow dry just because I couldn't bear the scene in front of me. People always have their fear, don't they? But actually, the thing they fear the most, other than their fear, is seeing their fear becoming from fiction to truth. But that's human nature, and human error. They rather deceive themself, or hide whatever is upsetting them rather than to showcase it to the world and let people hurt them over again. They often trick their minds into believing what's good is good, even when the "good" is not so good, just because, doing that makes them feel happy. But that's human, that's us.

This time when it happened again, a silent conversation and a few cliche actions. It got so damned heart-rending. I've always tried to face difficulties with my pet phrases "don't worry, God's got your back" or "things aren't always as bad as they seem, just get past the first hurdle and everything will fall into place" But actually, sometimes when things don't go my way, where a hell lot seems to be impeding my progress, I start to doubt if it's my heartfelt words or I just did it to make me happy. It's always so easy to use a smokescreen, words don't carry their weights anymore.

Actually, to think of it. Which creature on earth is infallible? But to me, so long as we still know of the rationale, to try to fend off history from repeating itself. We're safe and good to go. Cliche?

I'll keep trying to be complaisant, because sometimes, it's just so hard trying to let go, when really, it's never been and never will be the easiest thing to do.

you know what they say, silence kills

2009-01-09T07:45:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I look at others and secretly wish that I could be somewhat like them, maybe if I traded abit of me for part of their glamour and then sometimes when people are jealous of me, I thought, you know, everybody's given a right to think right about themself.

Leave this blank, I'm filled with remorse and regret.

just a walking cliche

2009-01-06T06:49:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling rather traumatised now because I just realised JENISE THNG who is supposed to be my long lost lover of something JUST CERTIFIED ME AS THE QUEEN OF BITCHING ON HER BLOG. BU KAI XIN~~~

Perhaps I'm exaggerating but I can't believe Jen only remembers the time I bitched with her, other than those I slept on her floor, fed her donuts, I HAVE TO BE THE QUEEN OF BITCH. Oh mother fucker. HOW SAD CAN MY LIFE GET!?

Aside all these, I survived career day. I thought they said OFFICE WEAR and turned up in a dress, but unknown to me, half the cohort turned up in corporate dressing which left me looking like a lost secretary in the school. But the good thing was, I also found damn lot people who had inappropriate attire so I guess I'll let the good time override the bad.

Totally dig my coach. And totally hated the venue for to hold this talk. I don't know how BBSS derived the sentence "equality is practiced in our school and there will be no favouritism" but then, when all the other classes are in air conditioned rooms, we were left to fend ourself with 6 fans on the ceiling, over usage of soaking wet tissues, swatting flies as we were listening, <<
Plenty of party people skipped school for tuesday. I'm just gonna fake that because there were no air con, I developed rashes and wasn't good enough to go for school. Must make the school guilty. Die mother fucker die.

On a serious note, since 2009 is here. I guess it's time to pull up my socks, figuratively and literally. I need a good grade! Lord, I don't hope for a miracle but as long as I get into the course I want. I'm contented.

resolutions are resoluted to the strong

2008-12-30T20:59:00.000-08:00

Screw me but when it comes to regular updating I'll throw in all the possible reasons when actually the fitting one is that, I've been too lazy to switch on the bloody computer. Putting that reason aside, 2 our of 3 of my computers are down so really, it's not that much of my fault already. I've been playing for the last week of my holidays and I don't feel guilty for neglecting my studies since there's only a few days more to school. I skipped the symbolic walk for school because I've been there and I know how mother big it is. Besides, the first day will be the tour so I see no reason for waking up early. I'm going to dress up and hit the town later, do some damage shopping and crash early on new year's eve. I know it sounds so banal but I don't feel like embracing the new year with open arms.

There's so much pictures and stuffs to say. Like how everybody is changing, and thankfully, all for the better. There's no reason to stay alive with all my emotional baggages, I should learn to rock and roll, just like the others.

My resolution(s) for this year is to grow in God, grow in height, grow smarter, learn to be more diplomatic(or what justin says), learn to pardon others, stop spouting profanities, stop squeezing my pimples whenever I have it(I know this sounds weird, lol), and when O levels finish pack my camping bag and tour the world, probably meet a nice guy abroad and bring him back for the next new year. Concrete plans much?

LOVE LOVE LOVE, EUNICE.

no pictures in this computer so will try to do the uglu faces, next time.

Harvest a heart for this poor soul

2008-11-29T05:45:00.000-08:00

See, my favourite auntie and uncle who loves to do stupid thing like dipping ice cream in chilli sauce. Partly contributing to the dirty toilet's in KL.
The kid with the waterproof camera but not evidence since he doesn't let me try.
I'll just change his name from Muffin to Hippo. Look at the mouth.

When you look at this majestic building you feel so overpowered but then think about the people who died in 911, 3 days from my birthday then you'll tell yourself that it doesn't really deserves all the glory it gets.
I finally found someone shorter than me. (if you exclude irene)
(Ripley's believe it or not Museum)Can you see I'm smiling so fake. That's because this is the torture chair of God knows when so if any of you dares to bully me I'll ship you off to Genting with DHL and screw your sorry ass to this seat. Now I sound so evil I don't think I'll ever get marries.
Grabbed the Jewel.
The fertility statue. I touched it, and my period's late. But wrong guess, I didn't do anything naughty.

I know I owe you guys this post, and another regarding the lesbian party over at Jenise's house but I've been too lazy recently, even to date hot guys out so just bear with this bare post while I try to buy time and let you guys see mother hot pictures of the sleepover the other time.

For now, MSN is screwed so anybody who wants to talk to me, please buzz my phone but not at unearthly hours hor thanks. I kinda miss Justin right now cause that grouchy shit is studying and strictly forbids himself from replying all my crap messages. Fuck?

Genting was fun since it's the first time I went. No hot guys and I didn't get killed by the long ride there, sad for you. The food was good, I ate everything and went to the toilet with the ass facing the seat not the mouth. The people was good, no one stole my stuffs or banged into me without saying sorry. The hotel was good, I could do somersaults on the bed without breaking it. The rides were good, I screamed mother loud and made a new friend there. I was good, ya lah, as always, what's new?

I came back and went for my dance class straight. Not pole dance if that's what you're guessing. Don't laugh when you think of my thunder trunks doing hops and squats because so you should know I'll be shaking my ass in front of 900? people on Dec10 and I'm pretty proud of it!

The next day was lesbian party at the pink girl's house playing fighting for space in bed and endless camera time and donuts digs then chicken rice in the morning flirting with the stallowner for more vegetables and then coming home tired and over consumed. I know this sentence has no pauses in between so you could slightly guess that's how my day went like.

Saturday was turning up at drummies late, only to find out I'm the only one who attended the class and then attending dinner with a colleague whom I have a growing suspicion that she carries a torch for me.

Monday was getting an sms from Yiwei to ask me out for dinner but then a last minute, EH SORRY I CANNOT MAKE IT BUT I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU SOMEDAY. Goodnews Yiwei, I'll ship you off to Genting and the torture chair. Say bye to Singapore now.

Tuesday was Justin cancelling lunch on me. It didn't feel good cause it's the second time that week already but guiltridden Justin asked me out at night just to make up for it. Then wednesday was waking up early at mother 6.30am just to go out for breakfast with himbo Justin but he's forgiven since he gives in to me for most of the 1hr arcade game. I owned him like crazy.

Pictures yet to come for the pink gurl's party. so stay tuned!

My new name is Jelly.

2008-11-23T05:12:00.001-08:00

I've been slogging hard, facing my fuck cheebye supervisor who uses the most ridiculous excuses just to escape from the piles of dishes to be washed or to save the floor from being flooded with too many potatoes. I've been rolling my beautiful eyes at 2 colleagues who couldn't differentiate sentences when customers asked "What is the fish cooked with", they answered "Yes Mam, the fish is good". Nabeh?

But I'm not complaining, because I'm still enjoying the overusage of my sickening voice of caucasians that are mainly made up of guys. Because I still love digging ice creams. Because each second that ticks away, more moolah is going to have a new home in my bank account. I'm just fuck tired the magician hiding with my behind the counters is letting peppermint ice cream fall from the fan, that he mixes orders up and complains I'm too short to reach the topmost bar of coke. But eh, ah cock, I think you only 160 only hor?

Enough shit talk. I'm going off to genting to try to sneak into casinoes and win money so I won't have to work or find a sugar daddy. So the next time you see me try to lick my boots squeaky clean and if you're lucky I might include you in my inheritance list. Intellectual words saved for the next time iloveyoumuchokaybyebye.

When it's your stop, get down.

2008-11-10T08:04:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it gets on my nerves so much how much judgement one can face in just a single day. Judging and comparing should be void or left barren because it usually stimulates a self consious image, you usually have to grapple with the redundancy of excess pressure inflicted upon you. And well, most of the times, it's usually something more than just a benigned remark.

I've been judged today, in a small way actually, by the local hairdresser. She snipped my fringe off and now it looks like pubic hair, I had to attend school with a hairband. She commented I had rubbish hair and even though I was unfazed by her remarks, I wanted to shout at her for being so highly unprofessional about cutting my hair when she can't do the most basic thing, which is to focus on her customer instead of letting her eyeballs roll towards the repair man. Enough said, don't wanna be a whiny bitch because my hair is going to grow back some day and a shorter fringe means clearer vision!My schedule is so tight, it fits me like a sex kitten's costume. I'm so drained of energy, I fault everyday. Like on saturday when I was going home, I mistook 185 as 105 and gladly board the bus, only to realise I couldn't reach home. I sprayed dettol all over myself because I didn't see the direction the nozzle was facing. I touched a hot burning object without realising and had to paste my pooh plaster on my finger, ouch):. I threw away 2 plasters because I didn't check beforehand. Even if I eat a gazillion energy bars now, I think I still can't walk straight. Me tired, me need to sleep. Somehow, I'm telling myself, there should be more interesting ways in life to die than having a war with fishes and playing with can drinks everyday.

14th nov was Zealot 1.1's bbq party and although the atmohphere wasn't anything near barbaric, meaning no food snatching and no one was on fire, but everybody was so engrossed in eating, we didn't have much fun. Fun only came when food was served, camwhore slut came alive and when the gays started singing. Photos later.

15th nov was drumming and then working till the sun sets. New colleagues, new stories to tell. That night I was consumed, I woke up to find my face in my dinner.

16th, forget it. It's too banal to even be talked about.

And the days yet to come, it's going to eat me alive. All that I'm glad of is that at the end of the month, I'll have moolah's to spend. Even thought income doesn't buys happiness, but it's still comforting to see cash in your bank. Recession is hitting!

HE'S HUGGING THE COWBOY HAT I GOT HIM!

fuck face sorry

ugly norman and cool dashing voloptuous marc
ugly norman and shirley + qinyinqqqqq
My muscles! THEY ARE POSSESSED!
SO CUTE! (when I said cute I meant "IGNORE THOSE PIMPIES AND LOOK AT THE MOUTH!")
Not cute.
Boys toilet
Girls toilet
Girls toilet
Ignore the face look at the body Dan and...ignore the ugly one please.
Arty

No one on fire, no food on fire

smokin' hot.
Happy birthday Marcus!

I'll be back for an update later cause...I need to shit. BYE

pspspspspsps: JENISE JUST INVITED ME FOR A SLEEPOVER! :D

Hallo, Halloween.

2008-11-04T04:01:00.000-08:00

Hello babies, how have your Halloween been? This week has been a breathless sport, I thought I needed a new invention for a pill for me to be in different places at the same time. A good thing tho, amidst my monster schedule, I met up with Vale, my very long time no see friend friend and boy, did that feel awesome. This tells me that God is still benevolent, and that good things occur once in a while, so that gives me more reasons to look forward to all the good stuffs life has in store for me!

Speaking of Halloween, I spent it at the Night Safari playing mother to 16 babies who grabbed food like nobody's business(JinShun), wanted everybody to split up just to discover which track was better to trek(JinShun), laughed like some santa claus till he scared away my giraffes(JinShun). I know it sounds like I'm pushing the blame all to JinShun, but really, that's not the case. Sometimes they just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time (JinShun).

I've decided to not be so lag time next year, if O's don't clash, I'm going to get myself a slutty halloween costume and parade around Singapore. My alter ego is asking, how about a bunny costume or a policewoman suit? HA HA HA. Till then, I'm to continue mugging my sore ass off for the brother O's else if I screw up, you won't find me anywhere near bunny's. And for now, peektures.

I'm in the picture but only my pearlie whites can be seen.
Boys.
Look at the Ah Beng pose JinShun has.
Keatson.
No idea.
Look at our ornaments! Notes to self: Bunny suit next year.
Actually I wanted to take the picture with Roger only but he came. Oh wells.
Somebody has a big mouth. All pun intended.
Gurlies.
2 lao cocks.
Ah beng has business, "OEI, BUSY LA FUCK"
He's supposed to pose like he bought me with 55bucks but everybody knows I'm priceless.
I'm short and I'm ugly. Okay, we know it already Chor Yeow.
If Beatrice wore green, they'll look like traffic lights in Night Safari.
Roger's affair. (anyway the girl behind us had gory make up on, fucking scary)
It's an irony how come sometimes people looks so happy when they are already on the brink of death. I supposed that's making the best out of every deadly situation. Positively sure that it's HuiYun forte.
The main focus isn't the boobs but the tag. Which so happens to be from this cute guy that made me suffer from heart throbs. Awwww~
This is a pose, I didn't just escape from the halloween ghouls crew kkthxbai
Butcher, so cute ah! Take you home cut you up for meat then you know!
There's nothing scary about this scarecrow. Except the straw I'm sniffing at, it's so smelly it scares me.
Main focus is the woman in the straw hat not the guy flashing his pearlie whites but I know everyone's just gonna keep staring at the guy.
She's so tall she had to bend just to look shorter. Learn from me! Be short!
I screamed too loudly beside his ear when he tried to scare me, so I won hands down, I scare him. Any invites for me to be a halloween ghoul next year?
Rog and Voon are jabbing the vamp in his tummy. His expression is classic. Fucking funny.
Roger's first wife. (his affair on the top)
Lai, mummy give you kiss kiss.
Homeless and broke, had to stay in the dimsum basket.
The all time victory smile when you conquer crocs(crocks).
Hello Voon, I'm gonna miss you. Lovelove!
The groupie for late night fun.
No idea again.
Special thanks to VoonHon who made me take photo with every single ghoul. You human vely good! (Translated from chinese)

I've got a suggestion anyone may wanna take for next year's halloween. It's cost effective and really scary. I now present...
Ching with a holey tissue paper.

The cutest living thing ever but secondary to me. I'm just kidding la. Look at that innocent smile and pose. Somehow it makes my heart feel at ease when I look at it. I forgot who said but the average times an adult laugh with his whole heart in the joke was 4 times but kids do it 300times daily. Isn't it weird how come so many of us want to just hit 21 quickly and get a life when sometimes the things which should come easily, out of habit only exist during the times when all that you can see is legs of others as you walk, when you're mum is there to guide you and catch you from your fall. When you get older there's complications like interesting ways of corruption, drugs, cigarettes, clubbing comes your way and when everything pure has left your life, you're left with an empty void that's filled up by others and not just yourself. Sometimes you laugh because it's manners, other times because it's easier to fit in.

When we were young it was easier to feel happy because we were contented. When we got older contentment is a drag, we want the best, we aspire to be the best, we breathe and live because we'll go for everything that assures we are the best, non secondary. And somehow that makes us all so consumed inside out, instead of filling our lifes with laughter and a heart, we fog it with complains and bitter thoughts so what used to be all good no longer suffice.

For now, the only good I can think of is to go to bed after eating my nutella, wake up for drums lesson and then work my sorry ass off. Goodnight.

312

Count this a day already

2008-10-27T05:33:00.000-07:00

I'm watching sex in the city as I'm currently typing. Hell, I love sushi's but looking the sushi covered body in the screen, just serve me my char kway teow anytime. Today I'm going to be brief, emotionless and downright straight. Thanks for listening.

1)I went to Ah Ching's house for a suntanning session but the sun failed me, we had a rain-tanning session instead.
2)I've been having late nights and not because I was busy being studious, trying to play with books but because I recently realised that I am an evident supporter of singtel telecom.
3)I'm currently a book fanatic, I bought a few books on impulse and I feel so shit right now cause I could have been down at the fashion store instead. Some spy leaked out that a fashion police will be after my heels soon enough if I don't start changing my wardrobe.
4)I messed up at work, I gave the customer the wrong change, but she still smiled at me. Just tell me my charm works everytime.
5)I recently got my inner morbid self activated, I want somebody to explain to me, "Why I don't have a boyfriend."
6)My mum is out of town, I think my dad is pretty lonely.
7)Esther is so cute, she made me come down to bukit batok from town and then back again.
8)I keep telling myself to be gracious, even though I'm not trained to.
9)I feel like getting a dog that loves erotica. (after looking at the one in sex in the city)
10)I need to get an oxygen tank, I really want to start breathing like normal, instead of taking in big gulps of air that can substantiate me for a short period of time.

Sometimes I wonder why am I so afraid to get close to people. To know them inside out, like I'm a worm in their stomach. I hate getting close to a number of people and particularly one because I know that just one day, where life is a battlefield, I'll be hurting you if not you. Wake me up when september ends? It ended a long time ago but hell no, I don't wanna fall toward life again.

Hold on tight, I'm speechless for tonight. Bye.

I'll be back when I'm not in the emotional whirlpool.

I wanna have sex on the beach under Ching's house

2008-10-21T08:46:00.000-07:00

I fantasize alot about the times when I grow up. I'm recently choosing locations for sex with my husband when I grow up. I initially wanted a sex on the beach but hey! I found a better place. That is, under Ching's block. But only if the two drooling uncles don't keep patrolling that area, else I can't have sex in peace.

My fav pose, what's new?

We are the pout-erpuff gerzxz
So cute wor ching. My camera almost malfunctioned later.
Here's to: The slim legs and her fuck face.
And the girl with again, her favourite pose.
Ching, try harder if you want to seduce me kkthx.
JumpShots. Or rather, attempt at JumpShots.

This is a mixture of me and Ching. Pretty cool, we look so fat combined.

Surprised but not really since Ching end up laughing
My exaggerated surprised look. Hyperbolism is my middle name.
Faith breaks walls.
Somebody help, we're defying gravity.

Eh Fuck my muscle very big
Okay, I'm tired. I have to toil tomorrow. I'll be back for words no peeks zaijian!

Orge, just leave me be

2008-10-13T01:58:00.000-07:00

This is going to be saddening, will cause multiple ______-insert anything that depicts gloom.

I know it's rare for a second update so soon but my fingers feel like dancing, so leave them be. There are many things in life we could leave it be, like sometimes we lose a penny, we leave it be because we have the knowledge it's just a penny. It'll turn up anytime now, or I'll earn it back somehow. Whenever you disappoint your parents, you chose to leave it be because you also have the knowledge that for all your life, you'll be living and breathing disappointing your parents in many aspects in your life not just with the bad grades, like what I got for maths and science but also choices like piercing my tongue, contemplating on a naval piercing and scolding fuck in front of them not to them. Leave it be, it's a seductive crime. Many times in life we chose to pour whatever troubles we have to the old debt and tell ourselves, we'll leave it to another day to settle them for I'm tired today. And that's a heinous crime, sure you guys heard it all before. Time waits for no man.

I know you guys are longing for a platform where I speak about what happened to me and YinHui so I thought today when my senses are clear, when my feelings are depictable, when I feel like sharing, I shall.

Many have been concerned about what happened between the both of us. For all who did by asking me, Thank you. For those that live and breathed on rumours, Fuck off.

There are many times in life I didn't put in effort to salvage a crumbling friendship, where the remains of what's virtually there stays on the edge of the gallows. This isn't one of THOSE TIMES. In life, you lose some, you gain some. Some friends I lose cause I held too much pride, some because we drift, and the more common ones because of a big quarrel and sad to say, what happened between me and YinHui can't be catergorised under any of which. What happened was, even till now, sudden and indescribable.

Even you say Ching is the reason I'll tell you to fuck yourself cause that wasn't true. YinHui likes Ching, I like Ching too. So if we both like Ching, how can Ching be the reason? In case many haven't noticed, YinHui is closer to Ching nowadays. Maybe it was the jealousy that was bubbling up but hey! I got jealous of YinHui with her bitches before but I don't see the same ending. We didn't feel shortchanged on trust, and that's not even a probable explanation since the feeling has always been mutual. Just like what YinHui said, there's no real explanation so yeah, I guess there's no big stories for you to elaborate on after what's been said and done.

It's been some time since everything was the same and how I would like to lie at the field in front of my house right now, kneel to God and beg him to tip me into the emotional time machine. But, do you think that will really happen? I have been trying to pick up the pieces, been trying and is still trying to pull everything together before Earth crumbles under me. It takes two to tango, two hands to clap, two cars to crash and with Eunice, it's only one. If you still love me, reciprocate. I didn't spend 6fucking months with you just to distinguish the love. Like what Ghandi would say, Reignite the flame! I'm trying baby, so please flow with me. It takes a little effort from the both of us. Before time ingrains in our faces, take this as a patronisation from the devils, give it a go, we'll still be what you wanted us to be.

ps, you used to say you love me with all your heart and I did too. Please prove to me now and can't lose you.

Hoodwinked

2008-10-12T00:41:00.001-07:00

It's been some time since a decent update went up so there you go. A new post but no bikini shots since I haven't uploaded the pictures. I can hear pinheads overenthusiasm and the sound of them throwing confetti's into the air now. How happy.

I have been getting bad comments for the eyes privy to my body with pinheads moaning with their naked disgust. Call me a slut and people who knows me well will tell you I'm really one. It's okay, I don't mind. I have a kinky sense of humour and I am certainly not docile. To arm your words as stings while naming yourself Innocence is plainly mimicking choanoflagellates, going way beyond the Innocence level and one would think your brain and hands needs coordination.

Guys forbids me to spill the beans but truth be told, if you rejected a guy straight flat on your first date, the next thing you know is you're receiving evualuation about how pompous you were. They cram everything about you in one minuscule monologue from your fashion appeal to that dear little singapore's sister on your face and it's up to you to use a defences ranging from a toothpicks to cannons before things get so bad, they push you like the button for the trigger for a bomb. Now we know, Guys are jerks.

I'm not saying woman are perfect. Even though we are living in the modern era now there are still double standards that gets the better of us everyday. Let's look at it this way, God gave us this organs to create more wonderful living things and even though I'm still a virgin, I absolutely respect the use of it. Sex or erotica should never be catergorised under the unhealthy, evil and dirty activity because that would mean I wouldn't even be here typing out shitloads. You always ask guys have they ever watched porn and the answer scoring the most number of hits is bound to be "Of course, else I'm not a guy" and that's true too. Even the government censores sex scenes, don't he still encourage couples to have more babies for a higher population? Don't take it the wrong way, I'm not saying underaged sex is acceptable but think about it, you could use your fingers to finish counting the number of virgin friends. Sex is indulgence that's why it's the hottest topic since kids attends kindergarden. Makes sense?

There's going to be lots of controversy regarding this issue so in case you lovely's haven't noticed, the comments box is gone for good. The line is drawn, no medievals shall be allowed to poke their pruny nose into my affairs and the old comments box shall retreat in a few days time. So, bitch about me into my face while time ingrains in our faces.

I think it's time to say I have been fucked and thrown since that's the way Ching will put it. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a virgin but recently I have been feeling that I lost a really good friend. Jenise told me an open secret which is that friendship, having master the art of the delusionist, is a great way to challenge yourself going up and down mentally. Like a doctor that saves a soul, I'm carrying the expression that will start floods. I have tried my best.

The modicum of knowledge is dangerous and you ride out my moods with an immeasurable amount of stoicism. Grief is hard on everyone. We are all good with lying to ourselves by omission. We have the heart to a relationship, but no body to grow ourselves into. If you want words for that, I'll throw you a whole chunk. So what are we now?

Leave it all to God, he'll share the plan.

Fly in my ointment

2008-10-07T04:33:00.000-07:00

I realised my blog has actually many readers whom I can't keep track of cause their too good at being invisible and factitious. I'm getting notorious even without knowing it. And some thin bamboo pole actually circulated the rumour that I smoke. Kudos, I feel like sticking my finger up your pussy. To a girl whom I've never talked to before, I must say you're so kind in helping my name spread far and wide. How nice of you, spreading rumours that I smoke. Are you an image consultant? Giving me the "Good Girl Gone Bad" tittle. I thank you in advance, but please stop assulting people's brain with what YOU THINK and not what YOU KNOW.

If you're one of those annoynymous reader that have been coming frequently to criticise I comment, openly or secretly. I thank you but I don't think you're needed here. But anyway, I must say you have been rather resourceful because not many linked me and here you are scanning through my words and photos, getting on my case. I'm sorry many of you are shocked with what you see. I care but I see no point in getting angry since how many of you actually know me right now? Not even counting all my ex close friends. It's ex so you can't say I've changed since you no longer talk to me. So, as a warning, please do not proceed to enter the blog www.running-stickman.blogspot.com any longer because the next post shall be about me and jingyi clad in BIKINI'S. Yes, the very very sinful costume. BIKINI'S. I doubt any of you will feel happy when you see such sexy pictures or even worse, the poses. In any event that you absolutely have to set foot into my place, please don't faint at the sight of those pictures because I am not going to take any responsibily for it.

Pretty amusing to have been called a pornstar. Words come cheap so hi I think you're a square who needs to have some growth hormone injected into your brain or many some more hair or perhaps a dick implant. I doubt he'll find this since he thinks it's dirty to come in here. Oh sorry, I'll buy a broom next time.

Again, the rule, my blog so I say what I like falls into place. Wow, I find this sentence so useful suddenly. I don't think I have to explain much but go on judging and talking behind my back. I know I'm judged by how I look and not how I think but then again. What's the difference between plain erotica and pornography? How can guys walk around half naked while woman has to be conservative? Erotica is just penned with a few liberal issues while porn is baring with a mind that says for pleasure and because I like it when guys drool over me.

If you have to, just judge me all you want because I know it's inevitable to. For now, Life's a bitch. Blogging for one's sake but to have been judged unmercifully has changed from bad to chronic to critical.

I'll leave it here so, bye bye erotica's!

Walk left? Walk right?

2008-10-04T07:50:00.001-07:00

I have been spending too much time for my own good being on the phone. It's quite sad really, to have been hugging my phone to sleep and waking to find up the battery gone. I should really stop this misbehaviouring and sleep on time.

Exams are nearly over, you can hear so many people alive again. Everyone's letting their hair loose, ready to partay all night long as soon as bio leaves our sight. And fortunately, it's only the mcq's that's hunting us down.

I was at drums today and surprisingly, after dressing like a fairlady for straight two weeks, I think Anthony is actually approving of me. He answered my questions and even managed a bye, have a nice day as I was walking out. Wonder if he likes fairladies but it don't deter me from being more liberal since that's how I've been since young. I mean, being liberal is modern, being cheap isn't. I've decided to be liberal but not to the extend of sleeping around. I would be audacious if I ever tell a guy to "FUCK ME", but hey, don't paint me in a picture of black yet since my life is still flambuoyant.

Straight after drums it was hitting the roads to Bukit Batok and yes it was really weird cause it's the first time I went to Bukit Batok when it isn't a weekday. I was meeting Normy for lunch and it made me rather trepidatious since I have never spoken more than 3 sentences to him in real life. But I thought lunch with him was rather entertaining since he always answers questions in a way I never imagined guys to answer but don't worry, I'm not indicating he's gay so girls, he's still up for sale.

We hit the church and I made him check my outfit 3 times before making sure I should step foot into the holy ground. I felt constrained since I've always been scoring rock bottom marks at the dress decently category. YingMei asked me later on how come today half my boobs aren't poking out. But what could I say, I can't possible invade Church one day and offer them buns could I?

I haven't been good at anything but when it comes to dilemma's, you could just put me in the museum as a display to people. Stuck between the choice of reviving my spritual life and my current social life, I had no idea which was the two would be more suitable for me. I used to didn't take God seriously but I realised all this had to stop after some time. Being at the crossroad sucks. I want so much to have a spiritual life but I'm not any close to giving up my current "have fun" life. It's a big responsibility to be connecting with God once again and recently I have been feeling he wants me back so much. I'm not one to take up responsibilities since I've always been an escapist but then again, can I beat the urge? I talked to normy about this and he's been really understanding about the whole situation, something which I'm very grateful too. He kept his promise of not pressurising me and I felt that was vital since my brain malfunctions at pressure, I'm so scared I might just freak out and make the wrong choice all because of what's laying on me. I won't take up breathlessness as a sport.

If I were to establish a steady relationship with God, that might mean giving up my current life and friends, starting from scratch at a new surrounding. However, if I don't, I know just that fraction of me will live in compunction, which, i equally loathe how come sometimes guilt kicks in and easily finds a place in my life to fit in. So I told Ching Ching I will walk through all this together with my new pet Mr. Snail till I figure out the math involved. Meantime, I shall prolly start hitting the church.

People thought I graduated from the Arts Of Antagonism because the only time my mouth was open was when I shoved nasi lemak into my mouth which by the way was yummy. I don't think I have ever been so introvert with new people. The usual lively bubbly me stole into the dark and all I could manage was "thanks, haha, oh, okay" Julia(core leader?) messaged me later on as indication to "MAKE SOME NOISE" but I was too tired to play along so again, I gave the impression of a cool kid. I'm thinking a few more times of them, I will morph into a mammoth prayer, clad in decent clothes and devotion.

Enough about dilemmas. I can live well enough without them. Now for something else that might interest you babies. No, not pictures. It's ages since I took up my camera and start clicking away.

Who has jobs that pays good money like $7.50 per hour? Ah Huay's hyperbolism showed when I told her I'm interviewing for one that pays $5 an hour. Is that very bad? Somehow I felt a tinge of sensitiveness that she hates $5. So, any kind souls? Look out for any $7.50 jobs for me okay? I'm willing to offer myself as your play partner. I feel that this shoutout is in vain because people that hasn't officially gone wrong in their brain will just save the job for themself -.-

Ps, play partner means playgrounds, not on beds. kkthxbyebye.

Miss shallow minded says HI

2008-09-30T01:54:00.000-07:00

Sorry Teikwei, sorry that I implicated you and caused you to end up with that stinky blue beta form. Or, sorry that we had to implicate so many others just because that morning me, JingYi and YinHui wanted to have macdonald's. Sorry that you had to be such a wimp, that JingYi terrorizes you even though you are twice her size, but with no brains. Sorry that we have been making things so hard for you, to the extent that you are so mindless. Sorry to say, even if I compare an audistic kid with you side by side, he will still look like he has an IQ of 200. And sorry that now, you have all our deepest sympathies that you are our class's fiasco.

I don't know what disorder were you suffering from that morning, to actually lie through your yellow teeth. To twist and turn the facts, telling Miss Diyana that we coerce you to buy macdonald's NO MATTER WHAT, when all that time, we had been covering your butts. When all this while, we didn't even know what was going on, you had such a good time relating your story to that once changed woman, to tell her so many things we didn't even know of before. Kudos to you, not only does the award of "I'm compelled to buy macdonalds for JingYi, YinHui, Eunice even though I'm only left with 8bucks in my wallet" gooes to you, the award "Jerk" says it all.

When you couldn't even handle orders correctly, you dared to tell Ms Diyana we forced you into buying the meal for us. But I have to be so thankful, you didn't malign us, to tell her that we didn't pay you back in the end. Maybe hawker food knocks you off your sense with too much MSG. Want to hear what you said that day? Right, listen up.

JingYi: Hello teikwei, where are you? If you are at macdonald's, could you buy macdonald for us?
TeikWei: Uh, ya. I'm at macdonald's now. What you'll want?
JingYi: *orders. Macmuffin for me, Macgriddle for Eunice and a milo for YinHui
TeikWei: huh? repeat again?
JingYi: Aiyah, we sms you la, bye.

-takes out handphone, I was the one messaging-

Eunice: *orders. Macmuffin for Jing, Macgriddle for me and a milo for YinHui, Jing wants egg for her macmuffin.
TeikWei, okay

Hell knows how long after, he called to say he didn't have enough money. So we told him it's okay even if he didn't buy. But that dumb fuck, implicated WangYang and Weiting, selling them out. Now whose the one doing the implication? You related the story like we MADE YOU do it, when we asked you to drop that idea, you said "It's okay, I borrow money from Weiting first." Then you pretend to be innocently delicious in front of those teachers. Telling them that we made you buy us happy meals when you were already late. Please, if you had the heart to come earlier, you would. And also, you were so easy going, you didn't even twitch your eyelid or moan in disagreement when asked to help us buy.

But I guess, it's always easier to save yourself first. Since you're an NCC cadet, I have to look at you in admiration. You are such a disgrace, you completely don't fulfil the "care for fellow cadets" requirement, covering your own ass at the last minute, then portray us as such a slut in the form teacher's eyes.
Sorry that I have to make these comments, I'M SHALLOW MINDED! HOW CAN YOU BLAME ME?! THE MOST, JUST CUT OFF MY BREAST AND PLANT THEM ON YOUR FACE, THAT WOULD MAKE ME SEEM LESS SHALLOW MINDED AND THE MORE YOU ARE BLIND.

You told us that you were at Macdonald's already, that's why we were so generous in our orders. Then you told Miss Diyana you were at the hawker, and we made you buy the food. You told Miss Diyana that JingYi will lay her hands on you if you fail to buy us food, when hell, it's not a secret that she has never once bothered to lay her hands on you. Dear boy, have you been having too much nightmares in class? Or are you just fantasizing that she will touch you, so that right after the lie, you could hide in the toilet and masturbate till you suffer from penis fracture. For a guy that's so well known in class for being the porn king, and erecting when all the old and ugly teachers in school are teaching, you could actually get terrorized by JingYi. I don't know how am I supposed to react, shield you from JingYi next time or laugh because your lies are worse than mine. And for a known fact that I can't lie for life, you are so much worser. You told us all you didn't have enough money and we decided to drop the idea, but then, you had to add your flavour to the story, and tell Miss Diyana we made you borrow from WeiTing and WangYang. What's next? Loansharks? That will make you more innocent and cute, you know?

Good for you anyway, that you have Miss Diyana's protection from now on. Then we wouldn't be interested in making you get Macdonald's next time. And that when you masturbate in school, you will be labelled as the problem student and still get away with it.

Ps, YOU ATE OUR HASH BROWN THAT TIME.

Hurl parangs

2008-09-29T04:59:00.000-07:00

Knn ccb fuck your mother. I'm so upset now I can curse and swear in a song.

I'm so desperate, I need to quickly find an anesthetic against weird ongoings. History loves to repeat itself. They seem to keep going in a big circle. I'm such an anaemic whore now, whatever you do to me I seem to break into little subdued pieces.

Okay, stop it loser.

I hope you suffocate and die of over breathing. Bye.

Don't put me on you.

2008-09-27T23:45:00.000-07:00

I'm ugly, fat and no one loves me. I'm lying. On the contary, I'm prettier, slimmer and more people loves me than Ching. So Ching, who says I can't lie? I do, but only for the right reasons. I lied because, I wanted to make you feel better. So you can stop awarding me the "15-years-old-also-cannot-lie" award already. Hahahaha.

For the first time in my teenage life, I went to town with my new identity as a fairlady. I ditched my usual slutty clothes for a pair of jeans and a decent top. It's so out of the norm because most of the time, either half or the whole of my breast is showing and yesterday, you couldn't even see my bra straps. The only thing that was poking out were my assets and that, I didn't hide. It's so weird that Jermsies complained and whined throughout. I think it's cause he misses my half or whole breast. Jerms, I'll take that as a silent indication for me to wear more slutty clothes when I'm out with you. Or maybe not because you made me wait for 2 hours and walk an extra 100metres yesterday when my face was as black as my hair. And that the word "studying" don't go well with us because the "studying" yesterday was so unproductive.

I feel so amazed by those ah lians. Instead of the usual black bag now, they carry bags for high ends and wear gladiators, or sandals, instead of their 9.90 offer slippers. Their bags are no longer small and a few items containable, instead they traded it for colourful bags that can actually put in a decent water bottle and umbrella. They use cameras now instead of the handphones that have been ever so popular. They no longer wear skinnies but wear flora dresses matched with high ends style. Yes, I know. What the fuck.

I was so, amazed is not the word suddenly. Pissed can't describe it good enough. Aghast, sounds fairly reasonable. Aghast that perhaps some good kind soul has just opened an agency to save those poor souls. But thank you Mr. Agent, now all over the town, I see smoking chimneys with thick eyeliners and girls with no charisma dressing like they are absolute angels, swearing and cursing loudly in chinese where they can't even form a proper sentence in english. How I wish to just sneak to your shop one day and burn it down. Oh, sorry, I just realised, this Mr. Agent is just imaginary. Really, must they shed their image for such high ends one? I no longer feel regarded anymore. Ouch. That sucks.

I was so overwhelmed I texted Ching who demanded me to repeat the following words to her "I'm high end and they are far fetched"because I was making her dramatic too. Haha, it was hilarious at that moment because I didn't know if we both were over-reacting. But hey, I have always been rather egoistic over myself. I loathe people that tries hard to be like me or worse, tries and denies. That's almost unforgivable and I won't give face to any undeserving soul who doesn't develope but adopts a style of someone. In a way or two, that's plagerism. They treat me like a shop opened for business, not in the horny way but they just enter the boundaries set, take what they like and put me on them. It gets me on my nerves to feel so irregarded and non-special.

Won't you too when you realised whoever starts out as being him/her and ends up being you. He/she gets all the nice praises and people worships him/her for his/her artistic appeal. Okay, even if it doesn't bothers you, it pother's me so. But hey, practising narcism isn't a sin. Seriously, it's ludicruous, not me, them and their quick wits.

Right, I need my sleep now cause I haven't enjoyed naps for, 3 days.
BYE

I'm not a weird diesease

2008-09-22T07:12:00.001-07:00

What are problems? It's this word that caught hold of me so suddenly, I fell backwards. Problems are always self-created, I realised.

After analysing so long. I am clueless of what to say about this problem. Don't give shit excuses "I have to learn how to be dependant" I can't do it, so don't you be able to. It was never a case of being dependant. I have no idea if it was something that's so common, you could practically find it in every relationship/friendship. Each time we grow, we have to learn something. So that we could find sure footsteps in the dark. It wasn't that I was growing towards another person. Stop deluding yourself.

To you I reply.

We have never ceased to include you in our activities, but you withdraw yourself from us. You initiated the fact you wanted to be on your own. Do you know that's heartbreaking? We never pushed you away or excluded you, but you acted on your own accord. To the extent that it bore us the silence, the growing silence we all had to live with. Because, one selfish move, one sentence or action, it leads us to a different conclusion.

We never looked down on you because we recognize that everyone is different. From mere hairstyles to ranging personalities. Be it the fact that you're tall and I'm short. So what, aren't we all humans? Perhaps the only thing that can be more prominent to set us apart was our personalities. But haven't we got along fine all this while? Not to say different is a crime, else we wouldn't have got that far. I hate emphasizing so much on this, I dread loathe want to fuck it. I want to throw this piece of information in your face so you'll come to terms with it. Whatever you are, I love you and that's that fullstop. I want to hug you on the bed again, want to do so much. But that's all going to come right after exams. One day what if you changed to be those high-end girls, non-smoking, classy lady. Cai Yin Hui by name, but I am just looking into a mask.

It was that easy to say. Can't click means can't click. That easy, that vague, that irresponsible, that suicidal, that MOMENT. But did you mean it when it came out of your mouth? Or was it that you had no other sentences to your stand? I tried to pick up whatever's left, to be the one cognizant to your current needs. But you brushed me aside like a dust on your shoulder. You know how bad it was? To be trying yet being taken lightly of. I wanted to know what I could do to fix the problem, yet your replies were so unconvincing, I just pretended to be nonchalant so it won't hurt like potassium was reacting with cold water in my heart.

Whatever it is, I'll leave you to see. This wasn't a problem initially till you started shun me like the uncle from the canteen. If you feel you can't lose me yet, tell me what's been going so wrong. It will be easier to continue from that last chapter. I'm not assuring it will be facile, but at least 10years down, I won't feel compunction for effort I've put in, faith I've injected in. Else I'll conjure excuses to mix the broken hole in my heart, mend that space in the circle of friends that you moved off from.

Last but not least, friends forever.

Clutch your hearts,

2008-09-19T10:39:00.001-07:00

I've been thinking and thinking but I guess I should really throw my feelings aside for now and start to concentrate on my studies. It's better to void yourself of all the worldly feelings rather than to strangle yourself with insecurity and paranoia. Wounds heal themself, they fade away and sometimes, what's left of it is just the scar and more inevitably, the memory. You remember how it all happened in one big cycle, and ended in another big cycle. There's no way you can shut the door to memories because that's what human's are made of. Once you slam it on, it takes so much more courage just to take the handle and turn it again. But human's, we are best doing things we shouldn't be. So good at breaking hearts, till we forget how to fix them. I want to feel happy again, to feel like the missing part in my life isn't missing afterall. It was just momentarily gone, not that it has disappeared into thin air. Let's just inject faiths and pray for a miracle shower.

I'm 15 now. Officially, anyway. There's this regret in my heart in getting older because it means I'm one more step closer to more responsibilities and leaving my childhood behind. So before I forget, I'm going to pen down everything. In case memories starts to lose their responsibilty too, and all that I am left with are just the momentum of life.

Birthday's were once such a big deal. Do you remember when you were younger? You would demand a creamy cartoon cake from your mum and they would shower you with gifts. I really mean shower because all the presents are huge, the wrapping paper even bigger. You could cut them up and throw them into the air as confetti after you finish unwrapping everything. Now, nothing beats to receiving your red letter for the day. And for this year, I received $200 which is going to support my extravanganza spending right after the exams.

Even better, this year. I celebrated my birthday with my bimbo just like how we planned to at the start of the year. What made me laugh that day was the seriousness of my birthday, or rather, the level of seriousness of my birthday Jermsies made out of. He made it seem like after this year, there would be no more birthdays for me. Which is so -rolls eyes.

And now for the only thing that interests all of you. Ugly pictures of yours truly!

Candid
Our most expensive meal yet.
Not candid
Hello babies, it's breast-feeding time.
Pretending that she likes vege. hahahahahah
Opps, iiex iish aa em0iix gurlzxzxzxzxzx
Kill herself look so happy
They say saliva is precious. (mine)
You want a piece of me?
Dig nose also so happy
Next up, contestant mastercard number 83.
Showing off my new giraffe unbrella
Jermsies' idea
Pretending to be excited because this is where GUCCI, LV people love to hang out at. -rolls eye

I am so male deprived, I told Jermsies I want him too.

We were too bored while waiting, so apart from camwhoring, we fell asleep

Patent Pending, pocky stix as straw
She was asked to take a picture but she proceeded to take a sip.

I'm the pom pom girl with a ~~flower~~bush in my head.
My breast gets hungry like Huay, have to feed it many times a day
She's trying to check if my ass is real.
Because, this is for you. *flips hair
Here's to my bimbo. Hi, I love you(:
Screwed up looks we both have, A heart screwed together we both share.
I was trying to act cute but apparently, I failed. Huay, *shakes hand, you win.
Mimicking ghost but I turned out oh-so-lovely while Huay mimicks the chao ah lian next door See, how greedy he is. He eyes our food while slurping down his spaghetti
Me shooo high class, I use fries to clean my nose
Yello's her favourite colour. She's asking if having a yellow moustache will make her cute anot.
This is how I look applying mascara
Candid
Hi, this is my new pet. I brought him at the local pet shop for $5
HAHAHAHAHA, Huay looks like a donald duck
She stole my chicken when I wasn't looking
It was a shot in disguise because as soon as he heard the camera click, he went ahead to wolf my chicken down.
My birthday kiss for the year since I'm manless
Jermsies is the new SLUT in town. But instead of seeling beer, he sells chille sauce
This is a damn fantastic artpiece. Look at it now but it's a totally different image when you look at it through a blue and red filter paper. It was supposed to capture the feelings of natives when they are tormented or something similiar.
Golly, my muscle is so big. Jerms thought my bag is shooo cool he made me give it up to him.
Slut corner. Enquiring our services? Dial for the public phone right now.
Oh-so-fairytale
Oh! Look at whatever there is there.
It was a wrong shot that turned out perfectly okay.
I don't know why I raised my armpits. But no one ran. hahahahaha
He thinks it's the winter he's acting so cold
Jermsies fuck face. bastard!
In height order. finally, I stand as the tallest.
She was supposed to capture our legs too. Oh well.
Jerm's is a slut addict. I'm a slut and he's addicted to me.

Apart from being a good daughter to my parent's. Actually I'm also very filial to my grandparents.

Oh, that's my hideous brother. He has a big head, but small brain.
Jermsies, Chia, Huay
The sacred gift.
I want to marry one of them. Look at their pecs, it's so hard you can balance your maggie mee on it when you are having supper on bed.
Huay
Chia

*I took the picture down for the better sake of some people.

Sunday was mahjung day with my cousins. My cousin is so contradicting, she says she hates girls with big boobs but complains hers TOO SMALL. Your motive to make me feel like a loser wasn't good enough, don't worry, you can slowly improve when you are choosing over your push up bras. *flips hair.

Right, off to sleep now. Bye

A digital error

2008-09-16T03:48:00.000-07:00

Nothing changed, just the last digit of my age. I'm finally 15. It's fun to grow matured, not old. I don't want to have saggy tits one day, with a wrinkled skin that needs ironing. Thanks all my babies who wished me A HAPPY BIRTHDAY and for the mini mini gifts I received. I felt bad on that day because I have never been one to make an effort to remember other's birthday even though they seem to do it effortlessly. It took me by surprise when people like LiYing, KaiXin, HuiWen, YaoMing messaged me a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! even though I am clueless about when was the special they stepped into this world.

I need to start being more conscious of the existence of the people around me and not take them for granted. Alright, shall be back with a proper update when I'm not feeling so dull and stressed with the current pile up of school work.

Goodbye.

If you hear me MAKE SOME NOISE

2008-09-11T04:11:00.000-07:00

This Friday is the only day which I don't have stress as my psychic partner. Instead, I might be going get my IC done or perhaps meet up with my long time no see but still extra horny friend. I'm going to burn time by implanting my huge ass bomb on this mini stool while I keep you babies accompany with this long post I am going to dish out. Appetizer, Main Dish, then the Deserts.

Last Thursday was getting up at 5.30 with a hangover after turning in at 2am then rushing to school to meet the kayakers. Not very very productive because I burned my whole thursday at Upper Seletar being a nanny to bags of those rascals. I thought I'm such a major loser because I teared when I wasn't supposed to. Now for a clearer picture of why that day was such a bummer.

JUMP SHOTS, 4 very pretty girls. Most left= Prettiest:]

I hate her, she jumped without us.

Part C's and JieJian posing as a hunk.

Nazirul is muscular and I look slutty

I look so sexy, i know thks

Jump shot, not swing shot darling

Gurlies

The chao ah lian of the day.

Kayaking in clear water
Number 5! All so not veh hunky.
When people clash
The Ting Ting
I like the brown colour shirt. Veh nice.
We won, cause we kayaked with our hearts.

Friday was Ching getting lost when she was just opposite my block and finally finding her way. Burning holes in my wallet and fattening the worms in my stomach. Ching always make perfect excuses for the burnt marks on my wallet, she says she lives to eat, which I think makes sense and totally agree with. At least I know that I will never starve with her and turn into an African child. Take her senior's advice, prepare at least $50 bucks for food when you go out with her, she makes sure she eats till you get too poor and has to walk home instead of taking the bus, while she gloats and procedes to hop onto the nearest taxi. But nevertheless, she still makes my day a full fat one cause there's no way she will be turning anorexic one day.

She was too tired she turned insane as soon as she reached.

I reckon Bonbon will close soon
Heinz brand sauces will get famous in the next 2 years
Bonbon cafe will reopen when gourmets sees this

Her old illness came back, don't mind her
Ching can never be a pornstar, she doesn't look sexy giving blowjobs to chilli bottles
And so she tries again
I know I look very sexy, and horny
Ching, let's have a foursome one day!
Ice cream makes her melt like how Riche does
I am so hot I melt the ice cream
Ching wanted a challenge, "I HOT ALSO, SO CAN MELT ICE CREAM"
Deranged, licking bottles in public
You want my boobs or the bottle
She says xx dick is that long when not erected. See how happy she is
Don't know what she doing
White Riding Hood. Horror version of Red Riding Hood
Very unglam, all the hotness gone within a minute.
Acting cute is the IN thing now
Ching, if you die one day. I help you put this up as your picture and last moment with us!

Saturday was drums and then parents day. I realise they are sticking to me too much nowadays. Huay is jealous, she claims when I'm not sleeping, I'm out with my parents. I am not that fun to be with already nowadays. Relax Huay, when my birthday is here I will bring you out to have some fun and then proceed to kiss you on your rosy cheeks until it turns red instead of pink.

Sunday was off to Layang Layang at Malaysia and catching up with my boyfriend Sleep in the car while my dad tries to be a cool hipster and shakes his head while listening to japanese song. I don't think he actually knows what the song is talking about and with the way he shakes while drives, I was half afraid I might land in the hospital somehow.

Monday was back to being familiar with school and mugging my ass off again. Tuesdays was no different and it's time I start morphing into a nerd(I hope).

I think this post is so porn-ish. Only because I'm encouraging Ching so that she will make a great partner on bed one day if any hunks approach her at their own risk for some fun they will never thinki of. Like, rugby on the bed! Now I am off to tackle my mum on the bed. BYE!

Missing out, missing you.

2008-09-02T17:25:00.000-07:00

It's 8.47am in the morning and I know it's so rare because I don't always get up so early. Unless psychopaths calls and wakes me up. In this case, psychopaths refers to Mardiah because she woke me up at 7am asking if I wanted to join them at Yishun for kayaking.

I want to be a little miss goody-two-shoes right now cause I think there's plenty of people in my life I miss right now. Apart from sounding mushy towards YinHui everytime, it's time to express love and appreciation for all these people in my life. Shit, do I sound like I'm going to die?

I was on the phone with Nicholas last night, catching up on each other's life. He should be honoured because he is one out of the very few 15years old guys I get along so well and never fail to have a heart to heart chat with. I hate to admit it, but I do miss him even though I always see him in class. Time has crept away between the both of us so I want to catch the creeping time before class graduates and soon a friendship that has forged over years will creep away with the time. I spent a good long hour or so talking to him about how much we have changed since last year and I was surprised when he said I matured. I have always thought of myself as a "rather matured kid" but apparently, I was proved wrong by this big brother of mine cause he said I don't have much of the childlike-innocence now. Nabeh.

I miss hiding in class, talking to him afterschool when all the other guys are playing DollMaster. Sounds rather gay but that's what the boys love to do, upskirt dolls and play master or slave with them. I'm kidding.

Several things he said that touched me and almost made me pee through my eyes because I never thought he was so sentimental too. Like when he said he misses me too despite being in the same class because we are not as close as before. And before we put down, he said he loves me more than what I think in a brotherly way and I said I love him too as my big brother cum good friend. Even though I wasn't very serious most of the time during the conversation, I am serious when I said I miss you.

I looked through almost the whole of my images before finding only one. It isn't even
decent. Here, look.

He looks very shit here and so do I. I think I need to play pictionary with him more cause this photo is really very very ugly. I would have covered the faces of both of us but that would defeat the purpose of even showing you the photo at first. This photo was taken ages ago and even though photos age, I hope our friendship don't.

If I sound like I'm deeply in love with him. You're wrong cause it's impossible between the both of us and he's a really good pillar when I need my support.

This post will be rather informative. Which means long cause I just dug out some photos of the people that I miss! Have fun!

Linking him, I miss ZhenLin too. Last year I was forever gossiping about ZhenLin in a good way with Nicholas cause he was the only one who knew my major crush on ZhenLin. Hi Liying, in case you ever see this, don't kill me, I miss you too! I miss ZhenLin partly because I ever crushed on him. And because I think it's a waste that we aren't really on good terms now, I still miss something I once had before. Like how I miss the bolster my mum threw out years ago, because it was once something I had feelings for. Of course not to imply that ZhenLin is my bolster. Walau, I sound super wrong now. I miss him as a studying partner because he looks very funny whenever he sighs at yet another wrong maths equation. And I miss him cause I think he is one of my longest crush. There used to be long talks between us and if you ask me, I can still remember how I used to "flirt" with him in secondary 2. Juvenille, I know. Hey, I was young and innocent! I miss stealing glances at him and lots of other stuff but I'm not going to write them down. I think I'm just being too corny. Eww.

Yet another not decent photo because his smile looks forced out and I look very spastic.

There's this special girl that I miss too because she shares the same starting alphabet as me. ESTHER! Hello Esther, are you surprised to see your name here? Don't be. we were best of friends during sec 2 but I'm still glad we can still get along now. Especially that time when you asked me out for bowling with your mummy! Ji Gan Dong orh, almost peed through my eyes. I spent the whole of last year with you with little hiccups in between. We shared many secrets and I love the prawn noodle stall near your house cause they sell really delicious soup. So I want to date you out one day for the prawn noodle cause I miss the prawns alot. Heh, and of course you.

Even though it's hard to maintain a friendship when both are in different classes, and we have different schedules and stress to cope with. But I don't think it will be easy tomake me fade with the time because you constantly remind me to watch America's Next top model and I know you know I aspire to be one when I grow up. Just that I lack height, courage and the face.

Till Death Do Us Apart. It looks like we are insane maggots that are happy to jump down the parapet any moment.

(Oh really, when is this post doing to end?)

I miss Jenise. She made me sleep on the floor during sec one when I flew to her house after school just cause she said I was dirty after a whole day at school. I was too tired to argue so I compromised and fell asleep on the cold, solid ground when she was combing her hair. I still remember she used to call me bao bei and we were both twitters back then. Hii Jeniiise ba0 beiizxzxz, ii lurrbiies euuiix! Ah, good old times. Back in secondary one, she copied my chinese spelling and we would talk about guys everytime. Now that she has a guy and I'm occupied with having finding one, we talk about anything else we could find to talk about. I miss sharing with her my little secrets, taking neoprints and the times when we studied at macdonalds however we can never barely pass maths. Such an irony!

Oh yea, remember the contrast joke? HAHAAHAHA!

To my dearest Valerie: though you lost your perfect man but it's okay cause I think I'm your more than perfect girl. It's been 6 years of friendship and it's still going strong. The first time I spent a day over at my friend's house, I spent it at your's. Because you were worried that I anything unfortunate might happen to me if I am all alone at home. It was during the exam period and I still remembered you kicked me plenty of times in the middle of the night. Even though we meet up thrice per year but I'm very thankful for Bill Gates for because of him, I'm able to look at your pretty face through the screen of my laptop. I realise I don't have much decent photos of you since everytime we are together, we spend time by eating too much, talking too much and laughing too much about the powerpuff girl underwear you found in my room years ago. Speaking of that, do you remember we used to send each other letters and had a big fight about that? And we made a bookmark that fits perfectly with each other, just like how easily I fit into your crafted arms. Even though I lost the bookmark, I wouldn't want to lose you.

It never fails to humour me how I link bubble tea with you since that was our source of energy when we were suffering 12months under LBL. I'm glad we have both grown out of the shoes we used to wear and that even though we never do see each other as often, we always chat about recent ongoings and that my best comfort is that I recently picked up the courage to strike a conversation with you.

Science Geeks, Laura and Janice. I never talk much about them but that doesn't meant I don't love them too. It's been three years since the meet up before the last we had and it's good I remembered to take photos of the three of us. The gurlies that hung out with me from Science Buddies, experimenting in the lab together and forever going to toilet together. Have been tuition buds with them for a long time now and I am very sorry for always not being able to make it for meet ups. Nevertheless, whenever we do, we still have loads of fun just that now we do lots more things other than just hanging round JEC and Janice's house.

Ya, it's always me in the middle cause I'm the one they love most! I'm kidding, because they say their middle view not nice. Walau.

Last but not least, I miss my impeccable class 2e3'07. That's the time when I had the most fun in my secondary life and that's how come I have so much things to write today. 4 out of the 7 people are lovely darlings I met in 1e3 and got to know better in 2e3. It's hard to put my words down since there were so much things we have done together as a class, hard work and hardcore fun. Last year it was really hard to seperate ourselves and sec 3 camp wasn't as enjoyable since even though we were at the same camp, we weren't in the same class anymore. I couldn't find the picture we took as a whole class but I managed to find some which I thought was a much better evidence to say more of how much we had in common and what we love for being in 2e3.

IT'S NEARING 14 SEPTEMBER SOON!
Very nice picture. The most decent one I think. I miss the playground and you.

They rear animals in buses. Oh, very cute, very cute.

Class outing and first time I was a delinquent at night.
SNEAKS!
Don't worry, not all army people are like that.
That was us. That was love.

Gurlies and awesome hairs!

That used to be our favourite hangout place. Class? Nah, more than that. Family(:
Look at the hands! Look!
A circle of friends. Just like a circle, there's no start, there's no end.

This post is finally done and if you didn't find your name inside (whoever you are) its okay, friends are forever! Whoo, I just blew 3 hours writing one post. I should really avoid blogging nowadays. Off to chalet, CIAO!

Who said a heart can't break twice?

2008-08-30T08:13:00.000-07:00

If I was supposed to rank my week, I would rank this as one of the last few. It supposedly hit rock bottom and lacked the energy to climb out of the pit. If you are interested, I'll tell you why. Else you could save yourself from this lengthy post. Are you ready? Brew yourself a hot cup of coffee, settle comfortably in your swivel chair and start to ponder the words of thy old hag.

I have a selfish 20 year old brother who is only interested in his ba0 beiizxz WRX. He kicks up a big fuss whenever anyone dares to insult or say the least about WRX. Worse still, WRX isn't his girlfriend. WRX is a car. This goes to show that he treasures WRX more than his own life. And this is the reason why I'm particularly worried one day I will be standing in front of his grave, weeping and trying my best to be the perfect daughter. How many of you has ever broken your parents heart? If you say no, whip yourself. Hurting your parents is inevitable, really. My brother wrote on a piece of paper, as his part of the deal, that he was going to work hard and finish poly year 3, help out with household chores and try to come home earlier. He wrote many things before these too, aims which he didn't achieve, promises he couldn't keep. A pity though, he didn't need to write the word "HURT" on my parents heart. His actions burned their way through the layers of skin on my parents and finally settled themselves down on their hearts like black gory font.

I'm 15, I can judge. I know how hard my old man has worked for this family. For all our expenses and to satisfy whatever cravings we have. Even if a blind couldn't see, he could feel. What's more you, when God have blessed you with a pair of flawless eyes. is WRX all that you could think of?

That's why I promised myself that I will never marry a guy that can't use his brain enough to think what might happen if he acted this way and not the other. I won't want him to hurt anyone dear to him. I need a guy more matured than this, who wouldn't make people sacrifice for him.

These few days have been teary. Not just the weather, but also me. I cried a few days before when me and the gurlies were talking about death. Picturing the scenario of what might happen when I lose my mother, I couldn't stop floods in time. This is how sentimental I could get when some people cries for their ex boyfriend(points 10 fingers at you-know-who). What will the day taste like. When one day the pair of loving hands that made me breakfast were gone. The arms that always hugged me before I left for school was gone. The sound of her naggings, laughter or cries, all kept in a little box that I didn't have the key to open. I don't have the courage to face my fears. I don't know how others might react, but after thinking that I was dependant for so long. I was wrong, I can't live without my mummy dearest. I want her to know that all those hurtful words I have yelled at her before, it wasn't out from the heart. They came out in the heat of a moment. I'm sorry mummy, I hope you understood and had the heart to forgive and forget.

I wonder how will cry out their hearts for me when I'm not living on day. Apart from my parents, who else?

Apart from worrying incessantly about issues like death. There was another thing I was sad about. How many teenagers have went through sex? In the olden days, this word was kept so hush hushed. But nowadays, lots of people are having underage sex. Or even worse, underage pregnancy. Even though I am bitchy/slutty and love to dirty talk, I don't think I will ever let a guy pop my cherry if that guy isn't my other half. I believe that if a guy respects me, he shouldn't try to cross the limits, least the fact that he will rob my virginity. I don't have the assurance that just because you are my boyfriend, I should surrender myself entirely to you. What if, let's just say, what if, you run away with another lady one day. Am I supposed to cry at my stupidity or laugh because I once loved you enough to let you pop my cherry? Enough said, I don't know what might happen in the future anyway. I might get raped by lets say..Justin Timberlake. Trust, lost. Chasity, lost and never returned.

And for a subject closer to me. I hurt Timmy in the morning. But like they say, revenge is never a dish served cold. I got it back, bad, just now. I got yelled "FUCK YOU, YOU UNDERSTAND?" I understand. I know it was my fault when I was paranoid over the little-lest thing, like when he asked where I went. He didn't deserve the treatment, but neither did I deserve the treatment and and that few words too. These few days has been quarreling, quarreling, quarreling till I'm drained. I want quarrels to stop but the difficulty is akin to having world peace. I think I should stop putting my heart on the sleeve.

So who the hell said a heart can't break twice?

A heart don't break into two, it breaks twice.

As soon as it strikes 12

2008-08-26T07:43:00.000-07:00

Its time to start counting down and leave the last few moments of the 14year old loser behind and take on new responsibilities as a 15year old babe. Not me, but to my best breast friend whose birthday falls on 27august, who is going to evolve in perhaps an hour more to go.

Now, I'm going to dedicate one whole post to you cause you are so spekcial it since its your 15th birthday and cause I know for this special night, you won't be falling asleep. Instead, you are going to take some time out to reply every single messages of joy people sends to you till you prepaid runs low again and your thumbs swell from messaging too much.

For these few months that we were together, I've enjoyed myself immensely for every single moment I CHILL OUT with you. Now even whenever I breathe, I take you in and our hearts combine as one. I sound so corny but I think you know its the truth, better than anyone else. We look at each other everyday yet it seems so amazing because even though its been 5fucking months we still aren't tired of each other. Instead, we seem to have grown onto one another just like how fungi spreads fast. I got influenced by you laidback attitude, till I don't seem so paranoid nowadays. Except when I start tearing whenever I think of what might never cease to happen in the near future, like when I do lose one of my closed ones and when I start to grow apart from you. You grew to be more like when in terms of how you think and react to situations. See, in a way, we traded something we have on ourselves with each other. We even use the same shampoo and soap, till I always smell me whenever I lay on your boobies and take in a deep breath, comforted with the fact that it's you that is looking at me being depressed or whenever I am buoyant, and not just any other common pie.

Up till now, we have gone through more than the amount people could even imagine of. I look for something permanent in the relationship of both of us, and not just the usual laugh, talk, get high friends that disappear like lost time and never be retrieved again. Countless of times, I have laid in your rooms, in your arms, smelling your leg while I cry about some mediocre guy that I thought have caught my eye but was actually a passing phase. When I giggle into your tummy, and then try to tickle you as if you were my baby, thinking about what future holds in store for me. Whenever I feel antagonized by any fucking cheebye in my life, it's you that holds me in your arms while you listen to my grumbles without a sound, trying to calm me down. Then its the same old cycle whenever you lie in my arms repining about how come life can be so fucked up sometimes and how come good guys are snatched up so quickly, leaving only the sub-standard average Joe for you to slowly savor(walau, sound like a cannibal loh). When you ask me if you're fat and I gave you the most truthful answer that its only cause you are big sized so many has the misconception that you are fat, and all of us know that being big isn't a sin. In so many ways unthinkable, we have counted on each other for some kind of strength that surge through us. I doubt anyone can ever understand how much we respect and care for each other, cause never in our lifes have we given so much and expected an insignificant amount in return. To the both of us, having one another as best partners is already a gift that Heaven bestowed upon me and you.

I can think of gazillion memories with you. Like how we use to race home or skip around in the neighbourhood. How we will bathe each other in the toilet trying to spray each other with water. How you do my make up for me whenever Im too lazy to. How I listen to your mother's woes. How you try to protect me everytime. Oh, stop it Eunice. If I do list them out one by one, I reckon you will start to hyperventilate cause its a long list to down under. You nerves at your eyes might just go haywire anytime and you will prolly start knocking on my metal gates for compensation.

To hell with what we had, I want to start planning for our future. If you ever fail to get a partner, I'm going to fly you over to a Western country and get legalised to be a bisexal partner. I will kiss you till your mouth turns dry and hug you till I leave my shape on your body. Every morning I will make you sun tan out on the beach with me, looking down at our saggy tits while you apply sun tan lotion on me. Every night I will scrub you clean with a spongebob squarepants brush till rash finds their way on your body. After I do so, I shall snuggle into the bed with you and make sure I cover every part of your body with the garfield blanket I have at home. Together in our backyards, we will drink orange juice and mock at any chao ah lian that crosses our path, with their swearing finger and loud burps of vulgarities. Then we are going to gossip the whole day about how people look like when they are performing acrobatic acts on bed and pose seductively whilst scaring the shit out of any innocent passerby. This was what we meant by "Trespassers shall be prosecuted" Im going to smack your bootie with a whip till I leave the letter "E" on it so you can admire it day and night and think of how slutty I look whenever I carry a whip around, ordering people to lie down. We will sun our wrinkled skin and moan about freckles.

Are you willing to grow old and have saggy tits with me?

I love you and I don't care I sound corny on my blog cause it's you I'm talking about.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AH HUAY DEAREST.

I need a day of 48hours.

2008-08-25T06:29:00.000-07:00

Too many things, too little time. Since young, I have always ambitioned myself to be a doctor, lawyer or anything great. Thats not a surprise anyway, Singaporean kids are only open to a few choices. Its just what their parents portray them to be. They educate their kids in hopes that one day, they will be able to hold a piece of recycled paper and start giving Oscar-alike speeches to thank their parents. How important in a piece of recycled paper with a few wordings on it anyway? It is your ticket to University's and jobs with good prospects.

Today as I was having Chemistry tuition. I had a try at oxidation states and up till now, I find it pointless to find oxidation state because I know 10years down the road, I won't even remember how to do it. Much less what is it anyway. To me, its just some theory that you have to keep it locked up in your head till our O's pass and then you can hurl the whole lot of OXIDATION STATES back to your teacher. Why the fuck do you need it anyway? You don't walk around in Singapore looking at labels printed with oxidation states to get to where you want, do you?

Right, that whole chunk of words were rather random and un-interesting. But I still can't get over the fact I just wasted 60bucks trying to learn something I know that I can't even apply in real life. Why can't they just teach me the 10ways to seduce hot guys with wits. That would be so much more beneficial and at least I know I can put it to good use. I can be flirtatious and then one day I will walk down Orchard holding the hands of two blonde headed kids, each trying to sniff each others butt. That would be worth my 60dollars.

Its going to be holidays in a few days time. Honestly, I got a shock when YinHui told me today Holidays are coming. As excited as I am, I realise my holidays are still filled with shit. Chemistry remedials. Yay! Im going to learn oxidation states again! I think I'm going to bring a plastic bag to remedial, not to contain extra notes but to barf into it when I look at acid Hua(inside joke). That fucking whore made half the class sit on the cold, hard ground during the first period today. I reckon it was a good move since I will also be snoozing in class anyway.

I think I have a hobby to contradict myself, I spent half the time trying to think of anything intellectual to write about yet I have been going on and on without writing anything productive. I like to spend time in front of the computer playing with my tongue stud and waiting for Tim's reply because that cheebye is working his ass off right now. Working his ass off does not mean he sells his ass for a living, thanks.

I miss him so much even though the last time I saw him was only around one day ago. This is what I call absence makes the heart grow fonder, so I hope all my horidays will quickly pass so when it is the holidays, I'm able to force Timmy to come all the way down to this ulu place in Jurong and find me. Pure joy!

Have been having some good clean fun all weekend. I am ashamed. I feel happy whenever I quarrel with Timmy. Am I too much of an introvert that I feel especially exuberant shouting into the phone rapping 27485628words per minute, mostly consisting of the words "FUCKING CHEEBYE KIA" Okay, I really need to start changing my language else I will morph into my partner in school, screaming all the vulgarities I can think of.

I hope something in my life can go haywire right now. Then at least I won't sit around, idling my time away. Maybe I should watch some interesting videos to pass my time *coughcough*

Right, get done to business. This fucking post is really crap but I can't be bothered because I just didn't want my blog to get hungry with the lack of post and sincerity. Blog, when I love you more, I shall be back with pictures. Muack Muack.

I love you, I truly do

2008-08-20T08:51:00.000-07:00

Dearest, I wasn't trying to be a real fuck. We were enjoying the day, but I felt I couldn't self destroy so I decided to open my mouth and let those words out from captive. How they roared and bite, seemingly impossible to stop. If I had known what those words could inflict, believe me, the path I would have chosen to take will be nothing similar to the one we are stepping on right now.

I chose to be frank, because I thought you would understand. Not that you didn't, but things turned out way uglier than I expected. In the going that I thought you would be stronger that I portrayed, I forgot that Im actually important in your life too.

I'm apologetic to have said I'm gonna protect myself against you. I didn't mean it in the armour-ish and steel swords way. I just needed to get used to the new you before I pick up from where I left off. Not just in terms of new hairstyle, but your character and such. Don't ask me to elaborate and talk, I don't even think I am capable of doing so.

Sometimes I wished I didn't open my mouth to big and I could use elephant glue to seal it up. Then maybe whatever golden words I drop from my mouth and cause people to be upset and perturbed about it. Looking at the mess I've caused now, I'm extremely worried that I might lose my best breast friend. For if I really did, I shall be living in excruciating pain and I will be scratching my black mass of hair every now and then just in order to think, where and how did I go wrong. I don't want to live in regret, cause I will need to wallow in self-pity, and furthermore, I can never find someone that I love so much and someone so close to my heart. Somebody that never fails to cheer me up and somebody that I feel so at ease with, so much so that I can fart in front of and try to pluck my armpit hairs.

I think somebody should just slap me and wake me up from such a horrid nightmare. I constantly suffer from it and I think I might become unsound one day.

I forgot to tell you, I still want to spend your 15th birthday with you and I still love you as much as I used to.

ps, we have much more memories than this.

7TH MONTH!

2008-08-20T01:34:00.000-07:00

I know I'm a tad bit late for such a post and perhaps post of this genre is so outdated already but I suddenly remember I have something juicy to post up! How many of you believe in supernatural, or even seen one before? If you haven't, today your mother shall give you the chance to look at something which I deem as hantu, or ghost. Please don't freak out and say that I atrract ghost. I rather you say something more productive like, I'm attractive so that I can blush and hide around, acting like little angel with a halo on my head.

Back when we had a bond

No, the ghost isn't me, although I look like my smile was forced out. I was tired! Its a week before I went into the operating theatre and I didn't had the energy back then to endure late nights and be a delinquent. Nor is it Maggie even though she looks so much fairer in contrast. If you would please, look... BESIDE ME! I'm not trying to kid my way through and cause a big hoo ha by telling everyone I just managed to capture a hantu on my sony E phone. This picture was taken in the middle of the night at Marina Bay. I only realised it several days after I took the photo when browsing through all my pretty photos. I was so freaked out I was practically immobilised with fear. I just sat there squinting at the hantu, which by the way looks like the hantu you see in "The Maid", another production of Jack Neo. And Singapore's first horror movie, though i thought it was more of gore.

Scary isn't it?!!? Now for those that don't believe in the theory that ghost's exist, here's the time for you to swallow your words. EAT IT UP!

Don't doubt if this picture had been editted before. You think lao niang is so free to come and entertain with a fake picture. The hantu was merely on candid camera. Besides, lao niang have no idea how to use adobe because Im not as mendacious as some people and third point, why the hell would I want to chose a picture that I took with Maggie unless I want to compare the ghost with it right. (Not personal insult.) And, I wouldn't try to design such a ugly ghost because I would want mine to be a handsome caucasian, and I will tell all of you that he is secretly in love with me, so he tried to make me notice him by appearing in my photo out of nowhere. Last but not least, the picture is real for certain because no one wears like they are going to sleep at Marina Bay. And the ghost looks a little audistic so I reckon he might have got lost in that area. Okay, I really should keep my mouth and butt shut since its the 7th month and the undead souls are lingering everywhere. Top bottom left right, watching every word that I type.

Mother Fucker, now I'm scared to bathe alone. Mummmmyyyyy~

JERMSIES, AH HUAY AND YOUR ONE TRULY

2008-08-19T06:34:00.000-07:00

It all started dark, cold and hungry, when me and Ah Huay decided to wake up in the wee hours of the morning and torture our eyes by adding the shades of black on it. Rather meaningful, to get excited about waking up so early. Actually, maybe only me. I think Ah Huay(sounds like some noob ah beng) was more interested in sleeping on my dusty bed with her armpits facing the air. I had to wake up 30minutes in advance just to drag her sleepy butts out of the bed. I meant drag, literally. I am not as muscular as her. Truth, even though she looks bigger than me, its all freaking muscles! Nabeh.

When we rushed out of the door, for good heavens sake, even though we weren't chasing any bus, my bag was filled with packets of fish keropoks and mammi(?) packets, drumsticks, drumbook, my Jodi Picoult book and an extra sets of clothing, plus underwear. Oh, not to forget, I actually brought countless pads along since I was such a worrywart that I might flood east coast park with blood that day. The amount of neccessities in my bag makes it seem like I'm running away from home but not to worry, I will never leave the comfort of my house. I love my mum and bed too much to even consider leaving home for, say, a few days.

That hell of a bitch convinced me that drums started at 10. I was a fool to believe her since after when we reached plaza Singapure at 9.30 and was aghast with the fact that Yamaha isn't even open for business yet. CCB! She even had the guts to counter-attack that drums really starts at 10. Ah Huay, cute hor?

Breast friend waited for me outside class. 60MINUTES! I just did that to make the number seem bigger but actually, 60minutes is just a bloody one hour. Im so touched I accompanied her to smoke right after class without whining about the smell. See, Eunice can rock too.
Reached East Coast Park and started to squash the bikes with our fat asses. But maybe God was unhappy that day so he made sure amidst of all the fun, there came the downpour. Felt like asking for a refund -grumps.

Jermsies tagged along soon after Mel returned the skates. I never knew Jerms was so charming! He is a complete rocker at skating, he practically owned the skates. Maybe you could make him a twirlgirl if you are interested since his legs are so scrawny they resemble the pair of chopsticks I keep at home. We cycled towards Changi Beach and towards the end of the ride, my butts practically detached themself from each other and was each a hanging piece of fat. My vagina was also hurting way alot, plus the fact that tomato sauce was dripping from it. Stopped for a good cup of coconut juice. Reminded me plainly of the fact how my cousin like to pronounce it as KUKUnut. HAHA! Jetty-fied ourselves and saw an archer fish that was caught by a pauch bellied uncle. Many people were surrounding it so of course, as true Singaporeans, we did exactly the same. Only decided to head back once we head out that horrors of horrors! we were gonna exceed the time limit in just about 10minutes when the journey will take around 20.

Having changed out of our sweaty, mucky, and extremely wet clothes, had a good walk to the sea so we could exchange swords(JUST KIDDING), so we could feel the good ol' breeze and dry our wet armpits. Boy, did that feel good.

And then suddenly we acted like best friends. See, lured Jermsies into our trap. We laughed alot, burped alot, fart alot that day. And very fortunately for you guys, its always Ah Huay who is holding the camera so most of the time her face is cut away. Your eyes are saved!

Pungol nasi lemak! First time I tried it, and I think its quite yummy. Though the portions are for ants and the price only looks okay to big businessmen. Is this the business etiquette nowadays? Im ashamed at the economy, price rise and little food situation nowadays. Feels like Singapore is going through Japanese Occupation once again. Yes, Im a true Singaporean because I give my utmost attention to minor details and complain so much about it. Somebody kick my ass and send me into hell before I get sued for making too much noise.

Timmy was on his pocket bike. x100 times cuter than him. That tiny one was so cantankerous that day and he kept biting on my words like his ex-girlfriend Jasmine. But how cute he was when he kept smiling to himself whenever I said something. I don't know which is worse, him laughing or not. When he laughs, I have no idea whatsoever is he laughing at me or what I said. Fuck right. HAHA. And when he doesn't make a sound, you think he is angry and he pulls this monkey face which you also can't help but laugh at. See, tiny guy acting cute.

Bogay people also have pride.

If you think its dark, its your eyes.

Clearer but Huay skanked away leaving Jermsies with a horrible smile. WASSUP?!!?

Im the rider, shes the ride. Im good at riding and she's good at being ride.

There goes my strong mama showing love to this little lady here. HAHA. She practically heaved me up. See, so strong. Not just in terms of physical strength, mentally too.

And just to advert, please watch.

ITS ME! plus fucking short legs. Good night, and try to get some sweet dreams.

virginistic

2008-08-19T06:22:00.001-07:00

This is my first official post! Stickman don't refer to me. It actually justs depicts everybody. Naked(not porn) and raw when everybody is in for a roughtime. Thats what we all look like. Stickman people but still not vulnerable enough to trip and fall any moment. Okay, rubbish sentence but it's all that I can offer for the moment. I'm so excited to open a blog that I can fill chemicals with and pollute people's mind.

Yak yak yak. Now im off to look for some spectacular designs that will send people flushing themselves into the toilet bowl(this came out random) when they look at how well and neat my blog could be. HA! Its an understatement, don't worry.

Till then, I'm out-